ragsjournal

What I Believe Expressed In The Apostle's Creed

2011-10-27T15:36:00.007+08:00

The past 2 weeks have been about pondering, discussing and digesting issues about translations, preaching, doctrines and practices and that inevitably leads to people who are particular about precision, chronology and other debatable issues. While all these are insightful opportunities to grow and develop as a minister, I will not forget to return to a simple belief of a God who loves me enough to die for me.

Reading parts of "Orthodoxy" by G.K.Chesterton again this morning and remember Rich's song based on the Apostle's Creed. He sings a truth that affects us all as believers "I believe what I believe that makes me what I am. I did not make it but He is making me". Yes, we could never make it in our faith but it is He who is the one making us. So to have religion without the indwelling Christ, the Word without the Spirit and hearing of His voice without the Spirit's conviction to do what it says.. is futile and not worth pursuing.

So often I'm challenged to the authenticity of my personal belief because it inevitably affects how my life turns out. That in turn affects my family and those people closed to me. Haven't all of us taken some stuff away and added some into our belief that resulted in a more complicated and less than great Christ empowered life?

I'm a modern man and having a life purpose of passing down our legacy to the next generation, I will stand for progress and doing ministry that bring relevance to people of today's culture. However the legacy I wish to pass down isn't a legacy of progress, tradition or complication, but just of simple truth and that lived out. I will not leave things that leads to structures and rules, the declination of honor and other stuff that is unprofitable for everyone.

Only a small percentage of people will be theologians and people with deep understanding to engage in religious debates. The rest are just people needing God's grace and a loving hand of guidance. People may call me a simpleton but its the simple theological doctrine as expressed in the Apostle Creed that got me to love & follow God when I accepted Him in a Chinese Christian Church 20+ years ago in Perth. And it'll be based on these simple theological belief that I will live my life and lead the ministry.

The Apostle's Creed expresses the essence of my belief. It's pure vanilla but powerful enough to transform my life and those whom I have the privilege to serve with. I'll probably go for toppings, later and sparingly.

Apostle's Creed

I believe in God the Father Almighty,
Maker of heaven and earth:
And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord,
Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost,
Born of the Virgin Mary,
Suffered under Pontius Pilate,
Was crucified, dead, and buried:
He descended into hell;
The third day he rose again from the dead;
He ascended into heaven,
And sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty;
From thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Ghost;
The Holy Catholic Church;
The Communion of Saints;
The Forgiveness of sins;
The Resurrection of the body,
And the Life everlasting.
Amen.

I always remember 2 ragammufin fact...

To always keep myself humble. And I will always recall Rich's illustration that God used donkeys in the past and has been using donkeys every since and we ought not to think too highly of ourselves when God decides to use us.

Another fact is that people has always been using the bible through the centuries to proof that he/she is right and others wrong when actually God is really using the bible to proof that He is right and everyone of us is merely guessing. I want to know what to avoid and what to devote my life to.

Hold Me Jesus - Rich Mullins

2011-10-17T21:54:00.001+08:00

Forgotten how ministering this song by Rich is. Just listened to it again and am reminded that once a ragamuffin, always a ragamuffin. Maybe a good time to dig out my copy of Rich Mullin's biography and Brennan Manning's Ragamuffin Gospel.

Often God brings you to encounter stuff that resonate with who you are and inspires you towards what you are to do on earth and it will always provide an enduring source of inspiration in the course of life. God has great sense of wonder and pours it out into this side of life for us.

New purpose for Ragsstudio.com

2011-09-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

After months (or is it years) of toying with ideas how to get Ragsstudio.com up again after it crashed out a few months/years ago, I have finally found a new purpose for Ragsstudio.com. It'll just be space for Work, Pray & Play, inspired by the Franciscan order's motto of work and pray with the added 'play',

I just want to be faithful with what's been given to me so that I can bless the world. Who doesn't actually? Just that I want to act on it. The vision of me doing something with my 'creative hands' hasn't come to pass but I figure I should do something. Anything. This is what will make me happy. It's crazy, but its fun and I believe in just doing things for fun because more work gets done with fun than without it. And we do take ourselves too seriously sometimes, we worry about too many things... so just want to cut the crap of serious things.

So the new purpose of Ragsstudio.com is pretty counter cultural. It's an anti-website, its anti-getting. I just want to give and do something that really help people. I hope it can. Maybe it can't. It doesn't matter. As long as its work and I can express myself and its fun.

Let's keep doing it. I commit it to God to allow me to have fun and help. Visit Ragsstudio.com

Work, Pray + Play

2011-09-20T11:14:00.000+08:00

I found an old graphic. It states one of my life motto

Work = We are created for such a thing.
Play = That's how work should be.
Pray = Fuels the work and brings it to a place call 'triumph'

I'm using it in for my Facebook & Google plus accounts

Downloaded 2 audiobooks

2011-09-20T10:58:00.001+08:00

Book 1: Francis Chan's Forgotten God. I am embarassed to say that I have never read a Francis Chan book. Now I've repented and downloaded this baby. Francis Chan is Asian American and he pastors a huge church but still goes radically small to connect each person back to God. I like everything about him, even his hairstyle (or the lack of it), especially love his love for God.

Book 2: Derek Sivers' 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Enterprenuer. Derek Sivers is authentic, he's anti-ordinary and most importantly he cares. He personally replied my question about children's ministry. He is not in children's ministry but I asked anyway... And he replied anyway.

Classic Rock Vinyls

2011-08-27T10:42:00.002+08:00

Got these 2 classic rock LPs

They are second hand vinyls and love playing them on my old Pioneer turntable because it reminds me a lot of my childhood listening to music. It gives me the warm fuzzy feeling.

This morning was spent with the family. Mei Si cooked breakfast, I was helping Chern Han with his fingerpainting homework and Mag with May Ann's PSLE preparation.

Everything we do now for them becomes memories for them in the future. It is wise to invest in good warm fuzzy memories

Stress the Teacher

2011-08-04T00:30:00.003+08:00

Stress is a funny thing. You can't do anything with it except to get rid of it. And when you do de-stress, you may as well learn about what causes it in the first place.

Stress is just the right time to learn what causes it and do things better next time.

God loves people so much

2011-07-27T14:17:00.003+08:00

"God loves people so much!"

We cannot not fully understand what that statement means....

Maybe we can if we were there on that day in Calvary where Jesus hung on the cross. Even then, probably not, as people thought he was a lunatic, a criminal and someone less.

Maybe we can understand if we were there to see the empty tomb. Hmmm... even then, perhaps as there were so few who did and even if we were that few, we would have dismissed it and not know the significance of it

Maybe we can when we were there during the Pentecost to experience the power from on high. ... But on second thought, perhaps not, as I could have taken it as just a spiritual experience but be unfaithful to it as nothing is felt after that.

OK ... now maybe the best way to understand it is not to be where it has happened in history. Maybe the best place and time to is in the present, in the now!

With the bible his Holy word in our hand and the move of His Spirit in the church we belong to. Maybe now is the best time to understand and experience "God loves people so much". We are the church of God today with his complete power and authority!

Life span of old ideas

2011-07-26T15:12:00.006+08:00

Had a old pair of slippers. 4 years old. Bought a new pair a few months back. Thought it to be a good replacement for the old pair. Didn't like it so switched back to using the old pair until last night, the strap snapped and it tore. Now I am forced to use the new pair with the old pair cast aside. I have no choice but to embrace the new.

Concidentally, last night my Mac Mini died as well. Sad but its true. Old things have a life span. Old ideas too.

If we hold on to old ideas too long, it'll do what it has to do, go. And when it happens, will our passion gets pull down to death with it?

Get used to letting go so we can keep both the contribution of the old while embracing the new. It's wise to be open to new ideas, strategies and methodologies as we grow. Its uneasy, I know.

But don't worry, its fine. Just never ever let go of the One who knows how to make all things new.

I don't like to be a leader

2011-07-24T17:32:00.006+08:00

I like leading but I don't like being a leader.

It works better for me if leadership is not a title. But in reality it is a title. It has its good and bad. Good that it gains instant respect. Bad in that it attracts holy expectations.

On hindsight, the good of instant respect isn't good as it gains it from people who really don't know you. That's disillusionment on the part of people willing to put you on a pedestal one day but then pushes you into a pit another.

The bad of attracting religious expectations isn't really bad either as it instantly tells you the area to grow as well as who you are to please and who you just can't. It helps to see those willing to grow with you and those who just wants you to get it together.

But regardless whether we are leaders or not, every Christian's call is to grow to be a better leader. My challenge is to grow to one of greater capacity. A ministry that is growing without the person is dangerous. Ministry becomes monsters when people are not embracing the needed change.

Lately, I have the rare experience of being in a phase where I don't know what to do anymore. Problems mount up, challenges escalate. Questions of if the vision is even possible mounts up. I have questioned if growing is worth it. But everytime my old self brings up that question, the new self challenges me with another; If fear and staying scared is worth the price of not growing? It is true that if we don't do what God has called us to do, we'll always be scared.

Bigger really means a bigger heart, mind and spirit to care. At the end of the day it isn't about how big is the size of our church, it's about how big is the size of our care.

Every area of every department needs to grow, the self, the people, the structure and the capacity to balance people and structure through listening to God. Without people, the structure falls. Without structure, people falls. This isn't a game. Its real connection and relationship with Him we co-labor with. If that involves a title, then let it be.

People will look at a title but God looks at our function and heart. If what is in the heart is good enough for God. It should be good enough for me. I like leading and I'm a leader in Him though I will never like being a leader.

The last 13 and 3 years

2011-07-23T22:17:00.004+08:00

Yes we did it! we celebrated our 13th anniversary recently. I don't take my marriage with Mag for granted. I’m grateful for how long we’ve been at it especially when Mag and I did our PE - Prepare/Enrich marriage assessment and the conclusion was we are a conflicted couple (that means of 5 levels, the first being harmonious and 5 being 'cannot make it', we are at 4 - conflicted). Can't believe it but the Lord's grace is sufficient for us.

Incidently I'm back to using Ragsjournal for my personal blog, leaving Ragsstudio as a site for the Lord's work and calling in my life. I've assigned hthiew.com as the domain to this site. It has been a great 3 plus years since I announced moving to Ragsstudio.com where God has lead me through great successes and setbacks, victories and trials. I've learned so much especially every ups having its downs and every downs, its ups.

I conclude for these 3 years .. "If God's ways and thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), there's always a better way. Perseverance is a virtue but perseverance by doing things differently may be the God thing for you"

Ultimately the Spirit is in control.

I continue my journey of my journey so far, maybe moving back to the roots. I hope to share more intimately here. All leadership, ministry and activistic stuff will be over at Ragsstudio.com.

What Kind of Parent?

2011-03-01T15:38:00.000+08:00

It's the kids exams time. Doing revision with them and realize it's so hard to it properly. Either the syllabus gets too tough for me to get it or I get it so much that I get angry they can't. It's times like this that I think that being a Christian parent with patience and gentleness built in is so so difficult.

Having the break in between to reflect is a life saver. As I was in one of those breaks, I keep thinking of what is going to motivate me to last in these sessions. I think its easier to be the best me than to be a good Christian parent.

A good Christian parent has standards which are hard to achieve. The best me has another type of standard which is that I become better and better.

Are we called to be the standard good parent or are we called to be the best that we can be. What impacts a child isn't going to be a frustrated parent with high moral standard and a weary pursue to achieve it but a parent who's realistic, humble and with a character to be always improving everyday.

I don't need to be a perfect or ideal parent because other than God, there's no such person. I just need to be a passionate and purposeful one.

Where birds can perch

2010-12-18T18:07:00.004+08:00

We moved to a new home we had spent months selecting. We liked this one because i'm a sucker for nature. Next to the dinning hall is a big tree 6 storey tall (which is the level our home is). I like it also because it reminds me of Mark 4:31-32 which describes what the Kingdom of God is like....

"It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.”

To complement that, in our recent trip to Vietnam we bought an oil painting of 3 nice houses beneath the shade of a big tree to be displayed in middle of our living room.

We are very proud and happy of the real tree and the fake one we own in our home.

Last month, 3 days before our Marriage Enrichment Redline Conference I was completely stressed out. It was the very first time running a conference with the team and I couldn't sleep 2 nights in a row having butterflies, pins and doubts if the conference will serve our people.

On the 2nd morning of that sleepless nights, I woke up feeling like drowsy and tired. During breakfast, I sat down on my dinning table with coffee and toast, when my son sitting next to me shouted excitedly "Daddy, look!". He pointed towards the tree outside the window. For the 6 months we have been living in this new home, we have never seen birds. When I looked out I saw, a kind of yellow bird flying around and landing on a branch. Next to it was another one. Couples perhaps. Wow! It wasn't one but two perching n the branches, happy and joyful like enriched couples enjoying the shade and providence of the tree.

I knew instantly it was God encouraging me. I left home for work that day with great inspiration and I believe if we build right in Family Life Ministry, we will provide shade and help for countless couples and families to come. We need to thank God for signs and rainbows, sadness and joy, and many other countless things that he uses to show us along the way.

In the journey with God, see carefully and enjoy the ride!

Taking the day off

2008-10-13T11:36:00.007+08:00

Taking the day off, really had to do it. I sms my boss "I sense some 'tiredness', taking leave today. Want to do some spiritual and emotional stocktake to charge for the week". She replied that October may be the month that I'm more tired. She recalled it was also about this time last year that I was showing signs of burn out.

Read John 14:1-4

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, i will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

The message God gave to me is not be let my hearts be troubled but to trust God.

If its concern about rooms, then there is no need to because the booking has been made for that future 'travel'. Right after, I listened to Burlap to Cashmere singing the chorus to their hit "Stored up, treasures in heaven". I'm adamant to invest in heavenly treasures ... yes, something like, a better looking place, maybe instead of sharing, to have my own room. Maybe with nice interior and a great view of the river. The river of life.

A strong spiritual life is a non negotiable. Everytime I think I can do something for God, I'm taken back by the fact that God wants to do something for me. After a while I notice that the something, is really a strong and blessed spiritual life. I can't fathom it or understand the ways of God sometimes. Maybe because sometimes a spiritual life to be enjoyed, and not be understood.

I want today to be fruitful and yet there's a nudging in my heart to let it be enjoyable because sometimes during rest, such industry is not necessary.

I have moved...

2007-04-22T01:25:00.000+08:00

It'll be sad to leave ragsjournal but the new has come. In my exploration of wordpress and knowing things will and have to change, I've decided to jump over. Hope to see you in my new website.

www.ragsstudio.com

I'll no longer update this one.

Can't think of a title for this

2007-04-15T18:34:00.000+08:00

Thinking that I haven't been spending enough time with my family, I decided to take them to the Singapore zoo even though I was experiencing some pain in the stomach. When we reached there, we rejoined Friends of the Zoo after 4 months. By then my pain has reached unbearable condition that I couldn't go on. So Mag brought the kids in while I stayed in the car to rest (unfortunately couldn't rest very successful). An hour later at dinner time, I could barely walk to KFC to join the family. Then a friend called if I want to go out to watch soccer together. I gave him the I'm-in-pain-how-could-I tone. He understood. It was terrible.

When I reached home, i had developed a high fever which i knew I had to do something because the next day I'm to share God's word to the children. So I messaged my team members for prayers which they always obliged. The nextday (which is today) I woke up at 5am in a renewed state without stomach pain nor fever. I could feel a bit of a hangover but could rehearse my message and then at 10am preached one of the best I've ever preached. God is amazingly good.

Today, we also had some visitors to our children church. One of them from our church in Kuching. I realise I have so much to say about children's ministry that I speak faster (and more) than my mouth can say them. I was excited on an exciting day. I'm dead tired now and I think I am going to sleep like a baby tonight. It makes a difference with God on our side.

Knowledge of the plank

2007-04-14T07:37:00.000+08:00

Mag went for some course with Hope Centre this week. One of the course work requirement is that she has to do something weird in a crowded public place. She chose to walk backwards in crowded Eunos MRT last Wednesday. I was there to see it. It was really funny. The course is on cognitive behaviour therapy and its finally over after one whole week and her funny walk. It was a hectic week for her.

She's out exercising this morning and she had her course folder with her. She told me last night she needed therapy on herself. She wanted to use it to fix certain things about herself before she uses it on others.

As she's exercising and doing these stuff, I'm here reading the words of Jesus again. He talked about why do we look at the speck of sawdust on our brother's eyes and pay no attention to the plank in our own eye? He advised to first take the plank out of our own eye and then we will see clearly to remove the speck from our brother's eye. How ironic.

Yes, we do like to do therapy to almost everyone we meet. We judge others and sometimes think about how to fix them. The truth is that there's always a big plank in our own. When we have a big plank we do not seeing clearly ourselves and the people around us. What is important is the knowledge of the plank.

The second thing I learned from the word of Jesus was about fasting. He said when we fast we should not disfigure our faces to show men we are fasting but to put oil on our head and wash our face so that its not obvious to men but only to God our Father what we do. Things done in secret will be rewarded.

We do what impresses and look good on the outside. Often we miss what is really important. The important thing is the knowledge of the plank. Ourselves! We need to fix us! We need what is important and that is really a true vital relationship with God, our heavenly father who loves us so much and longs for us. We need some self therapy ... and before that, we ought not to even think about using therapy on others.

I believe knowledge or awareness leads to decisions and decisions to change. We need good awareness followed by good actions and then enjoy the change.

At Pasir Ris Beach

2007-04-08T22:20:00.000+08:00

I lied down on the beach at Pasir Ris after a long Sunday. I looked towards the sea and wondered what's life like in the sea. I mean if I'm not living on land and like sea villagers works and travels in the sea. With all things revolving around the sea, wouldn't that be a big impact on me and how I do things. Wouldn't that change my mind about how things are done. Wouldn't church be so different.

Thoughts like that helps me retain the fundamental of what being a Christian mean. There may not be church decoration, there may not be church blogs, they may not shake much hands of those who comes to church for they may fall into the water trying. They may not jump so much during praise and worship for they may also risk falling again. Preaching may be different as visuals may not be through power point. Stage lightings will be different. They may not even be a stage.. I don't know.

Love will remain the same. Praying, caring, fellowship and reading of God's word will still be the same. Visitation will still be done on boats and discipleship without a doubt. The love of God and for one another and all these fundamentals are what will make the biggest difference as a Christian whether it is on sea or land. I really like it when a trip to the beach refreshes me to what counts in our life. Think regularly and reflect deeply. It helps, especially after a long Easter Sunday. I feel like having my life lived on sea the whole of this week and I'll be trying to do just that. Hope I will survive the journey to keep you updated.

Happy Easter for the remaining hour of the day and remember Jesus is alive!

How I Watch Soccer

2007-03-31T23:42:00.000+08:00

I don't have sports cable TV. Everytime my favourite soccer team Manchester United plays, I would log into the internet, go to www.livescore.com and watch this screen.

When I started watching tonight at 50th minute it was

Manchester Utd 0-1 Blackburn

Then on the 60th minute it turned to

Manchester Utd 1-1 Blackburn

Then soon on the 70th minute it was

Manchester Utd 2-1 Blackburn

After that on 80th

Manchester Utd 3-1 Blackburn

I don't think I need to watch anymore. I'll just retire for I have a long day tomorrow in children's church. We are launching our bus routes tomorrow to faciliate kids from all corners of Singapore come to church. Our outreach teams just gave the confirmation of 12 kids on our transportation route tomorrow. Wow, that's perhaps the biggest visitor attendance on any normal Sunday (excluding Special Sundays) in HopeKids ever. Also we have someone came forward to donated the entire costs of chartering a bus in one of our bus route every week for the whole year. We are glad on the ministry front we are winning as well.

With goals and wins like these, it doesn't really matter how I watch soccer. It's thrilling to the bone. Honor and tribute to those who work tirelessly, those who pray fervently and God who grants sleep to those He loves.

Goodnight!

I was at a healing conference yesterday

2007-03-30T10:57:00.000+08:00

God is concern about His people more than about the environment. He has the hots for people's character greater than comfort.

I was at a healing conference yesterday. Many came, many were touched and many healed. One thing I notice when God speaks to his people. It is always encouragement to keep praying, to seek His Kingdom first, to keep trusting God for healing and for life and things along the line of persevering in good. It is seldom or almost never.. give up and try this other way, or go to another church you'll do better there, confront your debtor or change that guy in the corner, or try this other ministry or buy that stylish new stereo.

Brennan Manning onced said that trusting God is more important than loving Him. What love are we capable of anyway. Perhaps trusting Him is loving Him, perhaps that's all we need for a great life. A new stereo or a new church is not wrong, it's just something else. I'm not sure but to me that's shopping.

What do we do with our fears?

2007-03-22T09:13:00.000+08:00

This week is by far one of the toughest week in 2007. I'll spare you the details for if not, you'll not be edified. I'm confronted with what do I do with my fears. My greatest fears that is!

From experience here is the best thing to do! "Run towards our greatest fears" ... Not move, not walk but run...

The deal is this...
1) We can just not do anything about it. But then, it'll linger and never go away. What will become of our days? It'll be living in constant fear. The sad thing is that we can get used to it and be subdued all the days of our weeks, months and years.

2) We can run away from it! Yes maybe the change our environment will help. I thought so too but I realise fear follow you. Only that it'll change form just like a mighty mutant monster. It'll still be 'fear' but I'm afraid it gets stronger than before.

3) Our only choice is to run towards it. Confront it and here what I think we'll find. Most of these fears are unfounded and its not that bad after all. Why run and not walk. The reason is because you think too much when you walk. When we run towards fear, that's when it starts to run away from us.

Some hints to help: Don't run towards fear in our weakest state. Not when you are sleepy in the afternoon or tired at night. Run towards it when you are strongest which I would suggest to start your day early and confront your greatest fear as top priority. That's the most important task for you. Pray and let the Lord be with you. If you overcome our greatest fear in the morning every single day, it'll give us the victory and confidence for the rest of the day. Keep doing that you'll develop courage.

Run towards your greatest fear and shine. Don't fear fear. Strong and courageous living is God's prescription. I suggest to do this not because its a cool idea. So far to me it's the only way to live. I don't see any other way.

Upkeep our life

2007-03-18T17:28:00.000+08:00

Our broadband connection was down for 2 days, the tank was algae infested and the house was messy again after a wild water colour painting session yesterday. Nothing that is worth upkeeping upkeeps itself. I learned that a little bit everyday makes a lot of difference but sometimes when we couldn't do so, then a one time big effort can make a world of change.

I get daunted by efforts to run away, to lie, to pretend, to hide, to not be caught, to not be true to one's calling. I get tired knowing such efforts not only doesn't get us where we are to be but keeps us drawn from places to places with such urgency we are clueless about. And when we get there, realise that it's not it, everytime. Nothing that is worth doing works itself out without effort. We have to believe that and get accustomed to little but regular effort (and occasional big ones when necessary) Once we get the hang of it, we'll find these efforts no matter how small it is, grant us also little victories we need for a consistent great life!

Upkeep areas in our life and personal leadership that needs upkeeping. I'm glad to be online again after working out several phone calls. The fishes loved me for the sparkling clean up this afternoon and the house ain't looking too bad too. There's so much more we can do.

God Is Willing!

2007-03-11T07:10:00.000+08:00

That guy who has leprosy came and knelt before Jesus and said "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean". Jesus reached out his ahnd and touched the man " I am willing" he said. "Be clean" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.

We sometimes do not ask good things for ourselves because we are afraid that He is not willing. Most often these so called good things are material things which add on to us.. such as a winning lottery number, a new job, some things we see in Orchard road, a new boss, a new wife..etc (and hence burden us which is not necessary the will of God). God's answer is then either 'yes', 'no' or 'wait' depending on what's good for us. Because we don't know his big plan, these things are worth asking for like a child would to his/her father. However we should be confident to ask for another group of things. These are things to be removed from us so to make us purer. Diseases, habits and limiting thoughts. Such things that when taken away help us be better and more effective human beings. Such things if you ask if God is willing, I have very little doubt that Jesus won't gladly answer and say to us "I am willing".

Going to church in half an hours time and I'm asking God to take away doubt and disbelief. To take away cynicism and pessimism. To take away impurities and stray thoughts to restore love and faith that is inbuilt in me. I have a feeling that its going to be a good good Sunday.

Helping Others

2007-03-09T08:46:00.000+08:00

I read from John Maxwell's book 25 Ways To Win With People and I found this chinese proverb which says

If you want happiness for an hour - take a nap
If you want happiness for a day - go fishing
If you want happiness for a month - get married
If you want happiness for a year - inherit a fortune
If you want happiness for a lifetime - help others.

Last week Mag smsed me this message: "Hi, just went to the dentist. He extracted my wisdom tooth finally. Now I feel a bit bodoh". Bodoh is Malay for stupid.

Helping others? Yes I thought its now a good chance to exercise help. ... But I learned very fast that "helping others" is an act of humility rather than pride. I'll spare you the details, but it is always good ending when we gain a lesson.

This morning I reflected on everything I'm doing again. I look at my life purpose. I check on my debt of love. I stocktake my everyday living (and dying). I asked the Lord for why does the road towards good always hard. The Lord gave me an impression. If we want to reach the peak of a mountain, the direction is always upward. If life's too easy, it's probably because we ain't doing much.

To aim for the mountain top, we walk, we run, we rest, we work and we enjoy the journey. By God's mercy our effort brings us a bit higher everyday. We have to remember while we may progress in work and effort but we only shine by helping others along the way.

A Motorola V3 Red Edition Surprise

2007-03-08T13:46:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was caught with a meeting to coordinate and a handphone that died early in the day. So I went around the office asking for a Motorola phone charger and to my surprise not many cool people uses a Moto phone. When I asked Elaine the sister from Missions if she has one, she replied no. Before I walked away, she managed to ask further why I needed one. I told her my battery is dead and I needed to use my handphone urgently that day. She listened and thought for a while and then took out from inside her drawer a new handphone and said "use this, its a spare". I was thrilled that it was a nice Motorola V3 Red Edition, fully charged. Not only I got a working handphone, I've got a cool looking one too. I feel like David Beckham even if its only for a day.

On the same day I was at a CD shop. Being a big fan of local folks doing well world class stuff in the world arena I went to the counter to ask the assistant if they have local croner Jacintha's Autumn Leave live album?"....He gave me a quick reply "Oh, no, we don't". He was wide eyed as if shocked by my question. I looked at him expecting a follow through remark along the lines of ..." we don't but I know where you may be able to get it......" or "... we don't have, but we can order it for you ", or even "...oh we ran out but the new shipment is coming next week" .... Instead he just looked down and continued his work behind the counter. I was left hanging there, wondering... I was made to feel silly about going to a CD shop to look for a CD.

We can add value to people who come to us with questions. We may not have what is requested but we can be helpful and provide more than what's expected. It's about being thoughtful and about adding value to people. It's about shinning and making a difference. I truly learn this lesson yesterday.

A Good Beating

2007-03-06T06:58:00.000+08:00

Arise O Lord; save me, O my God! For Thou has smitten all my enemies on the cheek; Thou hast shattered the teeth of the wicked. Salvation belongs to the Lord; Thy blessing be upon Thy people" - Psalm 3:7-8

One of the blessing of being God's people is that He will give our enemies a really good beating. But before we have any wild thoughts about so & so, we need to be reminded that our enemies are not flesh and blood but principalities and power, the rulers and authority of the dark world.

So join in the fight like a red-blooded young boy, stand firm and never give up on what's good. Work productively and pray earnestly... yes, the Lord will surely bash somebody up. Deservingly

Reading from Gandhi's autobiography this morning is the thought of the day "The heart's earnest and pure desire is always fulfilled. In my own experience I have often seen this rule verified". He said when speaking of his heart's desire for service of the poor. That which came to pass inevitably.

Morning of 1st March

2007-03-01T07:18:00.000+08:00

"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men"

Rules taught by men will be pulled out by the roots. It's the basis for the blind to lead the blind. On why the disciples were breaking the rule or the tradition of washing hands before eating, Jesus replied that it is not that which make a person unclean but things that comes out of the mouth and of the heart.

We have to examinte the rules that we follow and decide if its from men or if its from the Lord. Do not be surprise that you are living some of them which hinders you heart from coming closer to God. Check your heart if its growing towards truth and affecting your love level beyond that of the Pharisee.

One rule that has definitely bring my heart closer to the Lord and helps me invest in making the biggest difference in others life is the Rule of St. Benedict. I've been impressed the first time I read it and have been ever since. It reflects an excellent balance of silence and work. It has helped in my appreciation and living out in community, of stewardship & voluntary poverty, of priority of God's word and the respectful way to treat all things living and not.

Why is it cool to me? Besides my bent towards everything monastic, its three vows of 1) stability, 2) fidelity to the monastic way of life and 3) obedience really resonates with me. Actually its generally how I see the Christian life to be. OK its also because I'm too chicken for the Franciscan's way (whose 3 vows of chasity, poverty and obedience)

By the way in case u don't know, I don't live in a monastry. I live in Block 921, Tampines Street 91.... and for those who like to think, I also don't worship the Saints. I honor those who are before me.

Gandhi

2007-02-24T11:40:00.000+08:00

I'm a big fan of Gandhi and many things I know about his leadership has been an inspiration. Having watched the blockbuster movie on VCD and loving every single moment of it, I knew I had to read his autobiography "The Story of My Experiment with Truth" when I saw it for RM10 in a KL bookshop.

Reading it now and am surprise the extent of his problem of shyness and low self esteem in his youth and adulthood. Gandhi was shy? Hey, that's just like Moses and that's just like me and maybe like you too.

Going to an Investiture

2007-02-23T11:14:00.000+08:00

May Ann is going to be a Junior Leader. She invited me to attend her investiture at school. I don't know what that is but I'm so excited.

ShareGodLove.com

2007-02-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

Han and Keith are two brother in laws anyone will be proud to have. They are Mag's younger brothers and both God fearing man who serves faithfully & passionately in their local churches in key leadership roles. Han the elder has a wonderful wife and daughter, resides with the family in JB while working in Singapore. Keith is in full time ministry in one of the (or is it 'THE'?) fastest growing church in Kuala Lumpur. Their dedication and devotion to the work of the Lord have always been an admiration and source of inspiration to us through the years.

They came for the Lunar New Year visitation this evening. Han shared with us a website he has set up with his personal time & resource called "ShareGodLove.com". He asked for our opinion & feedback. I visited and found the website to be personal and well organised with very useful articles. It has a certain charm that will certainly bless certain audience. I think it's really great work for a personal project like this. Anyway, I think as long as he knows its God's work in him, my feedback doesn't matter.

It is always refreshing to see people creatively expressing their passion and talents to share God's love to reach others. Everyone has a unique voice and it is in my opinion that everyone should use that voice and make it accessible to others. Blogs, podcasts, forums, videos and other internet tools were never available to us in the past. We have them today. If we don't use them for good, others will abuse them.

So check out ShareGodLove.com and do drop him an email either to say hi or share what you think.

Remember that God makes the best YOU. You can only be a second rate SOMEONE ELSE. It is therefore worth the while being open for God to use you to develop a voice to express His love. So when will your ShareGodLove.com be setup?

My Chinese New Year

2007-02-21T12:16:00.000+08:00

Last Friday we hopped on a bus and brought the family back to Kuala Lumpur. Reached there at exactly noon time. In the crowded place and scorching heat, we had to settle for lunch at KFC. It was rare fast food for us and the kids complained the food was too salty. I look at Mag with hint of being astonished by her food training program at home. She smiled. Dad picked us up after that and our first dinner at home was simple.

On New Year's Eve we ate out for what is to be a 9 course meal for our family reunion meal. There were all of us except my second brother who was in Brisbane. Yu Sheng didn't taste as good this year. Maybe i've moved on with my taste in food. I found the fish and the light desert rather refreshing.

On New Year's Day, mother's side of the family visited because she's the eldest of them all. There were kids, kids and more kids. It was a vibrant lot. That night I sneaked out for teh tarik with 4 old class mates where we talked about old school mates, their vices (and virtues). We exchange about Malaysian politics, doing business and about making our first million. It was lots of rambling about life but at the end of the day we all agree that money is overated and is not the most important thing.

On the second day, my dad's side of family visited. They were the older lot.. the members somehow not as fertile as mum's side so average age = much higher. It was a good lunch time with them. In the evening, drove south and visited Putrajaya, Malaysia's new administrative centre in the southern part of Selangor. It was an hour's drive and boy, that place's huge (And costs lots of money too). I was impressed that they did all that at one go. It was a result of a man's vision and that made it clear that sometimes a vision is all it takes (with of course after that a never give up attitude). See these pictures.

Day 3, woke up at 3:45am, did my stuff and then watched TV from 4:30 to 730 for 3 hours straight. I can be a TV junkie. Watched a BBC english comedy, Seinfeid, Oprah Winfrey, Initial D a chinese movie, a business executive award presentation, CNBC news and some music videos. I think the problem is not 'Cable TV' but its the remote control. Without it I won't last 30 minutes. I was like catching up on TV for what I missed the whole of last year. Anyway I learned a lot that day. For me the TV is not to amuse but to give ideas and to open up minds a little bit more than if I engage in mere daily routines. For breakfast, we went for our newly discovered metre-long or high 'Roti Tisu'. It was lunch too because the roti tisu is really that huge. In the afternoon we were all prepared to return to Singapore. On our way to the bus station, we experienced the 'great KL traffic stand still'. Despite getting off the car and lugging our stuff to the station by foot, we missed our 2:30pm bus. Had to wait for the next bus at 3:30 and with 3 kids in the over-crowded Puduraya Station, it wasn't Club Med. It was nerve wrecking actually because we can only board if there's vacancy in the next fully booked bus. In other words someone has to miss their bus. Anyway Mei Si prayed and so exactly 5 person missed the bus, we were humbly given their seats. We were glad though we reach Singapore at 11pm. It was good that I didn't drive also because of the occasion jam along the way. I rested enough.

This morning, came back to work and before that could happen, our blue Lancer had a punctured tire. Spent an hour figuring out how to change tires. Never done it before but the experience was worth the effort. It confirmed that life's going to be problematic. However since God has overcame them, we can only be better off going through it. Through it all we are more experienced and better enriched people.

God has been good and for a Chinese New Year that is full of everything, I'm happy to have it as an annual tradition. So how was yours?

I found the answer to life ! . or did I?

2007-02-14T10:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I thought I found the answer to life. I was so excited but I didn't write it down. Today I forgotten what it is. I told Mag over dinner and she felt sorry for me.

So I guess that may not be it.

Sometimes I wonder if God looks down on us an sees a circus rather than all these serious thing we attempt to be. And if that's true, I guess I'll try my best to be the best clown that I can be. My dream, really is to be that useful.

This maybe my last entry before my Chinese New Year break. If that's the case. Happy Chinese New Year and remember to be useful the coming year.

I Think I Can

2007-02-13T08:44:00.000+08:00

Was at the afternoon matinee of "I Think I Can" last Saturday. It was put up by The Little Company which is the division of Singapore Repertory Theatre (SRT) which produces musicals & plays for children. This production is targetted at children aged 2-6, so for once Chern Han could go. It wasn't a problem for him to sit through one hour of it. It was interesting enough for him which the props, story and characters did enough to captivate the little ones towards the lesson of believing they can in all that they do.

I've been fascinated and impressed by what Little Company and other kids targetted theatre organisations like Act3 and iTheatre has been doing with kids and for kids here in Singapore. They really bring back the imagination and creative depth to children here in hectic and fast pace Singapore. G.K.Chesterton once said that while a poet tries to get his head in for a glimpse of heaven, a mathematician (or a logical person) tries to get heaven in their head. Guess whose will explode? Most of us adults have lost the sense of wonder and we are trying very hard to make children lose theirs at an earlier age. I applaud those who attempts to provide education and development for kids at their level and bring something back. Their level is one of heart, imagination and creative expression.

On Sunday our dear Hannah with her usual bubble of joy approached me and suggested that we do a musical for kids. I told her that's what I've been thinking too. She smiled and shared her idea of showing God in everyday things that kids may face today. In a matter of minutes we decided to work towards a musical for our next HopeKids United Holiday Club (HUHC)in September. This will be something to look forward to.

Meantime there's still Chinese New Year, Easter, HopeKids Camp and every Sunday where in the ministry we can put in a little bit more to make it the best learning time for our kids. They don't deserve it, they need it. Their future (and ours too if they end up having to take care of us) may just depend on it.

An email I wrote...

2007-02-12T09:09:00.000+08:00

Hi,

Yesterday, I had a tough day. Ministry in the morning, meetings in the afternoon, house cleaning in the evening and a big argument at night. I was quite disappointed because it has been a while I've had hectic days and yet harmony.

I don't know if people form this picture of bliss when they see a couple with 3 kids walking around. Marriage doesn't take away our problems, hurts or lonelines than it may enhance them. It has its good as it's bad. The bad comes naturally without work because instead of one set of problems there's the burden of two. The good comes through lots of hard work. We need to have the character to work on relationships, the foundation to love and to forgive plus the strength to be foolish enough to work things out humbly.

I learned that we can't solve problems in relationships so much. We can only be better prepared for it. And as I would recommend, today is not to late. The effort spent now to be a better person, to work on character & gain Godly persective is much more useful that any communication skill or clever techniques we employ to resolve our conflicts. This is truly what I think, having gone in the barracks and through the barricades.

God bless, take care and be His,
Hong Teck

Insisting on paying for it...

2007-02-09T06:52:00.000+08:00

This morning I ate what I honestly think is the fattest banana I've ever eaten for breakfast. I also think that at the same time I've read perhaps one of the heaviest wisdom ever from the bible.

"But the King (David) replied to Araunah, "No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing" So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen and paid fifty shekels of silver for them.
- 2 Samuel 24:24

David insisted on paying for a sacrifice that could have cost him nothing.

This reminds me of when we do work without motivation, without passion and without life. When we won't put in extra anymore in our service or giving to people or the Lord. When its all token work that really doesn't costs us anything. That's when it all becomes meaningless. We are doing and yet things don't get done. We are giving and yet nothing good has been given.

I think we need to chill out a bit, let go of what we are holding so tightly to because that could be the very thing we need to "insist on paying". If we open our hands and let go of what we hold tightly too, it'll first and foremost be less burdensome and secondly, there may be a better chance that something will be left on the same hands that have let something go.

It's a strange thing about our giving that works everytime. Insists of giving intentionally and with heart! I don't know, sometimes things just don't need a reason. The Lord doesn't demand us to be smart. He just ask us to listen, obey and be His. Don't live our live accidentally but do it intentionally.

Its one of the the heaviest breakfast I ever had.

Introducing Michelle Shocked...

2007-02-08T12:10:00.000+08:00

When I was around 15 or 16, I bought this album entitled "Short, Sharp, Shocked". It was on cassette tape and the music was a constant companion in my youth particularly a song in it called 'Anchorage' about a letter received from a childhood friend reflecting their days of old. I used to like the song, but now I like what it means to me as well. I'm nostalgic about old times and how things used to be. Our heritage regardless of whether it is good or bad serves to enrich us if we allow it to.

I started a personal project last month. Penned the first few pages of my autobiography, something I'm glad to have started as its long overdue. I like how its going to be written as life long work. That means it won't be done until I am. No deadline just something personal that keeps me intact. If there's going to be a soundtrack for it, I feel that 'Anchorage' has it to be just the perfect one.

If you like this, check out Memories of East Texas also off the same album. The bootlegged video is not fantastic but still beats a lot of today's MTV.

By the way, I'm clearing things to prepare a room for Rachel who will be moving in to stay with us next week. These are new unopenned Bob Dylan cassettes of rare and unreleased songs in a box. Let me know, if you still have a cassette player, like Bob and have a ear for some nostalgic folk music, I can give it to you.

Salt and Light for ragammufins

2007-02-07T07:12:00.000+08:00

There are two very unusual call that Jesus made to a bunch of unlearned men of Galilee.

Jesus said...

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven"

An insignificant group of normal people called to be salt of the earth and light of the whole world? That's absurd and totally impossible.. Well at least it is to the elite of the world. Yet in the eyes of God and in the spirit of the beatitudes, God knows it can be done as he did Joseph, Elijah, Simon Peter and heaps of others.

Being salt requires us to stop trying to be sugar of the earth instead. Too many Project Superstars or Apprentice or American Idol wannabes around. Pass us those who wanna love God, chase God and be God's, those who Keith Green terms as 'being bananas for Jesus'. We have to be salt as well as keep the saltiness to truly make a impact.

Being Light of the world calls for the ordinary towards extraordinary courage, good deeds and leading without title. Everyone who has usable ears will hear and respond to be in a place to be salt and light of the world.

However we should know that the cointainer that will help carry us there is found in Jesus' words before the call in the Beatitudes. "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth". A monk who lived in 16-century Japan under a bridge once said "Most people try to know more to become more clever with each passing day. I attempt to become more simple,uncomplicated and humble every day." I have to agree with him and it is that which makes us effective salt and light.

My Yesterday

2007-02-01T07:21:00.000+08:00

I set up my acquarium tank in the beginning of the year. I can post a picture because with my colleague Raymond's recommendation, I got new digital camera. Lost my old one in HopeKids last year, was sad but sadness don't last at all. This one is much better.

After the tanks was 'nitrogen cycled' for 2 weeks, my colleague Tze Wei wanted us to give his 5 Tetras and a corydora a new home. The kids were thrilled. I'm okay with tetras but I'm a big fan of corydoras. Here's the picture of Belle the bronze corydora, Tze Wei had since the fish is small.

The fish are doing just fine in their new place. Yesterday I felt I wasn't doing well in the new year. It was 31st Jan, the end of only the first month of the year and it was already my second MC. This time my whole body was weak and I couldn't get myself to do anything. The doctor said I caught a cold and have gastric flu. I had 'cholic' earlier this month. Well, I spent my day in bed, with the kids, Mag and the corydora. I didn't feel well but these things/people helped made things better.

I ended my day in the company of fellow pastoral leaders over dinner at Hotel Miramar Ps Jeff and Claudia hosted. It is always good time hanging out with them. There's so much to learn and absorb and I truly have greatest respect for all of them for their work in their respective portfolio. The spirit and attitude is always good & inspiring. The mother of all good spirit & attitude is Ps Jeff himself (or should I say 'father'). I'm really thankful for him for all that he has done to believe in people and make a difference in our lives. We are all (as long as we are human being) in self deception and lived in the box so to speak. Deny it and stay in the box or admit it and live outside of it. Within the box, we can't see clearly others and ourselves for most of the time. He for one has always tried to live outside the box and leading from there makes the biggest difference in the impact that can be made. It was a great dinner. Ps Jeff & Claudia paid for it. Life's good when someone pays. That's why Jesus is such a big deal to me.

I was on MC and its a great time at home and with good company. Was at morning club and think I'm ready to go back today. I'm still not 100% but then when is anyone 100% anyway? We just go, try, fail, learn and succeed. It's like that.

A Big Idea From My All Time Favourite Guy

2007-01-29T19:09:00.001+08:00

That experience of standing by the side of the road and standing there with your thumb out and thousands and thousands of cars go by, and then one car stops and you get in that car, and suddenly you forget that you've been standing there for an hour. One act of mercy on the part of one guy erases the fact that thousands of people drove by and were completely apathetic. So one act of grace is a very profound thing. The world may be very cruel in very many ways, but that one act of grace that we see in Christ changes everything.

Taken from the Pursuit of a Legacy video, Rich Mullins's monologues

Today is never too late

2007-01-22T23:48:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought that we are closed to recovering fully from last year, Uncle Ah San passed away with a stroke last week on the 17th Jan. It was exactly 3 months after auntie Elsie (she left us on the 17 Oct) Rachel their 15 y/o daughter was in such sorrow though she knows they are in a better place. We pray for the strength of God's hand and peace to be with her. We are also doing whatever we can physically.

Another death in Mag's family humbly reminds us again of our mortality. We talk about it, reflect upon it more and its never enough. If we die today will we die doing what God has called us to do or will we die caught with our pant's down just trying to make life more comfortable? I believe all of us are born with a set of right things to do. It's not about doing what's easy than it is about doing what's right.

Most of us live unreflected lives, allowing life to control us with its demand every single moment. When that happens, it is so easy our day will turn into weeks and our weeks into months, months into years and without realising it, it becomes a little too late to do important things that matter.

Some of the things that people will never regret having done when on their death bed are hugging people, building friendships, skipping rope with children, investing in the next generation, giving of our time and money, telling loved ones how much you love them, writing a book or creating something with our hands to bless others, using God given talents and gifting and developing them. There are much more and maybe many things unique just for you.

Today is never too late, we should reflect upon what we are doing against what we should be doing for a truly 'regret free' life. After we have done that, to work on how to do these things with great love and passion. Nike got it right but not quite right. It's not exactly about just doing it. It's about just doing the 'right things' and doing it greatly.

Exhausted

2007-01-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

Not that i travelled much today but i'm exhausted nevertheless. Good to finally reach home to have a nice hot shower. Thinking of what I feel are what it takes to make it in life. I think two things that if I'm without will be a disaster. The first are relationships and the second discipline and ability to organise. Both aren't my terror niches. My powerful niches are taking long walks, being alone and listening to music (and perhaps eating oranges,ice-cream and chocolates). I suppose being weak in both these areas make me look to the Lord. What are relationships without the power of God's love? Yeap that's right, bad ones. And what use is discipline without the purpose of God? Yeap, nothing, nothing meaningful at all.

I'm exhausted just thinking about the fragility of life. Mag has a such a big heart for fragile people. She came over the church office to have lunch with me..... err let me explain. Before lunch we bumped into a single mother whose son comes to our children's church. Over lunch Mag explained what's she's been doing and her intention to help the need of this mum and son. I was surprised as i never knew. She later drop me back to the office and drove off to town in heavy rain to meet our lawyer friend to settle business on behalf of her late auntie's family. Then she rushed to visit some friend's elderly mum admitted to Alexandra hospital. After spending sometime there, drove all the way to the airport to sent her old classmate she didn't have time to meet when she's around and now returning to Sweden. From the airport she came back for me at 8:30pm so that we can go for dinner. I found out that she didn't have any money with her which was strange. Well she told me she gave everything she had in her purse (a 50 note) to auntie in the hospital. 'Spending money' for a poor old folk she said. So I bought her dinner and we went to collect our kids in Siglap only to reach home around 10. I'm not sure about her but I'm totally exhausted now. What did i do? I went out for lunch and went out for dinner and both places were 2 minutes away from the office.

Tomorrow Mag will be at a training with Hope Centre entitled "Understanding and Working With Youth" in Buona Vista. I'll be at home with the kids. I'm reminded that she spends most of her day with the same kids almost every day of the week. So -elderlies, widows, family embers of late aunties, peers, youths and children - I DO NOT know many with a bigger heart. And with my believe that she's so much more a people person than many and extremely (and though sometimes I think excessively) good with organisation, I'm blessed to 'bear' her children (ie. okay.. after they were born that is). Truly I'm her biggest fan.

I think God is answering my prayers for her to overturn the exhaustion she faced in the later part of last year and start being herself again. I always feel the world's a better place because of her and so is mine.

The almost perfect morning

2007-01-10T11:42:00.000+08:00

Successfully woke up at 5 sharp this morning. Did my time of solitude, meditated on the bible, prayed for what is heavy in my heart, wrote on my journal, listened to some inspirational mp3s. Exercised, showered and then woke Mei Si up and prepared her for school. After sending her to school, still have some time for McDonalds. Thought that the day is really going well as even McDonalds coffee tasted nice. (Actually its McCafe coffee to be précised) I’m impressed. After that cuppa, I almost feel the invincibility as I was all charged up for the day. Got to the interchange, hop on the number 10 ready for a grand day.

2 minutes after the bus departed from the interchange, I sat down with heavy eyelid. I felt so tired and sleepy. I was like yawning non stop. Then I didn’t feel like a leader. Infact I didn’t even feel like a Christian.. or even like a human. I felt like a zombie. I felt that I’m almost dead unable to face the day.

I figure its so easy to be human because we are infact human. As human I have God given capability to say okay I did everything I could but I feel tired. And since I feel tired, I’m going through the day the best as I can just as planned and I’m going to be sleeping early tonight. I think its pretty strange for us to feel that the plan is not working just because of a feeling. Plan is only not working when we stop doing what is planned. Feeling is part of being human and God created that.

It’s almost lunch time, I’m at work and feeling alive again.

New and old things

2007-01-07T23:46:00.000+08:00

On new years day, Yien Shien SMSed me to wish for the Lord to lead me to greater heights in the new year. I'm thinking if she thinks I'm short. A few days later Hannah and Joey bought me some brown color dye as a gift for my belated birthday. I'm thinking if they think I not stylo enough. I'm thinking when I'm due for a new hair color. They also bought me a 3 in 1 cleaning product from Body Shop which can be used from hair, eyebrow & face to legs & toes. I'm thinking if they think I'm too slack with personal hygenine. I'm also thinking if I should start using more natural products.

Over the weekend, I made my first apple smoothie with the blender we found in the kitchen cupboard during our spring cleaning. It was horrible (the smoothie not the blender) both how it looked and tasted. That's probably the last one I'll ever make in my life. We have also found our old fish tank and some pots for indoor plants which we thought it'll be good to use again. We however found more crockroches eggs or things to be gotten rid of than stuff that can be used. I realised how estatic my wife can get when I clear out unwanted stuff.

The new year has so far not just been about new things, its also about old things given a new leash of life. We really can't carry things with us when we die, so definitely, we should keep working out what we are holding on to and sort out what is good to be thrashed and what is effective to carry with us.

My Birthday Entry!

2007-01-01T15:39:00.000+08:00

It's hard to reflect on the new year. It is what i regard as one of the most challenging and yet fulfilling year. It has too many ups and downs, too many struggles and successes. I suppose there's too much to learn and reflect from. Reading through the greetings and wishes from people did give me an idea that the year has been worth it. I thank God that I could leave an impact on people through what I do. Measuring against what I wish for in life, I figure how important it is to rough out our limited time in the 365+ days in a year towards what really matters despite how difficult it may be.

Yesterday is the last day of 2006. It was a usual sunday affair. Well almost. I went to church, had a great time sharing to the children, had lunch with the CG whereby they celebrated my birthday, visited my in-laws, brought the kids to the playground downstairs which is big deal for them, had dinner out and then at night checked out St James Power Station. When they did the countdown to the new year (and my birthday too), I had no walking space. Learned how people young and old could party so hard and appeared so immersed with fun (some I do believe were downing their sorrows inwardly). First time in years Mag and I went out until 4am in the morning. Have never woke up so late the next morning for quite some time. Have never woke up by a phone call from my brother to wish me a Happy Birthday actually. Liang called and he has never done that. It was a great way to start the year knowing we have become closer. Called mum to wish her a Happy New Year and she conveyed a 'thank you' from dad for a good job as MC at the KL wedding. I felt nothing when I heard it but as i keep thinking about it, I realized it meant so much that my dad thought that way.

My expectation of the new year is the same thing ...Work hard and pray hard, do whatever that will make the biggest difference in a person's life. (I think that why I'm passionate to work with children, not because I like them, I just believe in them). While at it, to not take things too seriously cos God is in control.

I hope that I pull through the year unscathed again and if I don't, to turn bad things into opportunities. I thank the people around me who shared my life and make things happen together. I realise how under valued Mag has appeared to be. She has had a rough year with having to battle together critical illness of her late aunt and all the work that is involved in that. And her support of me and the family has enabled me to taste all the successes in what I do and who I am. I really wish I could bless her more and I resolute to pray for her properly. I value the people I'm working with in the family, ministry and work more than anything else and i think that's what makes the journey so worthwhile.

2007 here I am, take me... but be careful cos I'm His and have been spoken for.

Quote of the day ... err I mean night

2006-12-28T00:37:00.000+08:00

"Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what's left and live it properly. What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness." - Marcus Aurelis.

I think he's an Roman emperor who's also a philosopher.

U2 vs Madame Butterfly

2006-12-21T18:03:00.000+08:00

"Singles" is a new collection of songs from U2 one of my favourite bands since I was a teenager. Can't believe the Singapore Pressed Edition is only $11.90

"Madam Butterfly" is one of my favourite double CD by Puccini, conducted by Sir John Barbirolli.

Though I enjoyed listening to U2 again after so many years, no matter how hard I try, I find myself always reaching out to that Butterfly CD of late. In other words I prefer "OPERA!". It's not depressing or sad, its just adapting to social, emotional and biological changes. At least I know I'm moving on.

Life is a journey everyone has to make. Some tolerate it, some adapt to it, some are active travellers, some pretty laid back. Some know where they are going, many wander as if its not important.

Whatever it is its only one journey. If we see with faith, listen with our hearts and response according along each part of the journey, we'll enjoy the promise of what abundant life is, otherwise if we are hoping that the destination is to be reached before we are satisfied, then that dream destination may never come. Whatever comes our way in our journey, face it with courage, get the most out of it. Play hard, pray hard, work hard, do everything hard for we do not know what tomorrow will bring.

For now, its Opera for me and I don't know what tomorrow brings. I hope elderly men don't form boy bands which I may enjoy one day..but that's too far to think about.

Know Do See

2006-12-21T10:00:00.000+08:00

I received a complain from my auntie's friend that May Ann shared Christ with her granddaughter when they were having dinner together at a family gathering. I don't know how to address the situation. I mean isn't it natural that when one knows something that one will do something about it. And when there's action, there's outcome. It is unfortunate that the outcome appears to be the complain when it is really that a little girl knows a little bit more about God.

We "Know" who God is and what He's about. We "Do" what He expects us to do and we'll "See" the outcome of our actions. That's what it is in a God empowered life. It is key for fulfilment and successful partnership with God.

However, we lived in a time where experience is so highly rated that we want to "See" first, then "Know" and after being convinced, "Do". Most of the time, it never reaches the "Doing" part because people are generally hard to convince. So everyone just basically sit back and watch. They See-NO-Do!

Don't be part of the 'watching' society. Know and Do, then we'll See. Miracles happen when we invest in doing what we know.

Wedding Dinner & My Morning Club @ 5

2006-12-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

Was away to help organise a big wedding dinner for my second brother in Kuala Lumpur. Liang and my new sister in law Danika flew in from Brisbane for the occasion. I was one of the Emcees. My co-MC is an experienced host. With 30 more years with her, the experience was truly precious thought was nerve wrecking before 300 over predominantly chinese speaking guests. The event was also a mini music festival which my dad led with his singing buddies. All these truly made it one of the most vibrant wedding dinners I was ever associated with.

Six days in Kuala Lumpur was quite interesting. Busy time it was.. meeting people, negotiating with hotel banquet and arguing over programming. Fruitful it was too .. that I managed to catch up with God and with myself each morning of the days I was away. It was to be my resolution in 2007 to start my day with the Lord, but my "Morning Club at 5" has started near the end of 2006. Here's what I've recorded happened in those mornings.

11 December 2006 Monday: Singapore 5am
Read God's word and prayed. Went for a job (a walk rather) at 6.00am. Not used to waking up so early so was tremendously tired by 8 or 9 that even coffee won't help.

12 December 2006 Tuesday: Singapore 6am
Work up at 6am. Missed the alarm clock altogether. Did Silence, contemplative prayer and reading of the psalm before waking everyone up for the 5 hours trip to KL.

13 December 2006 Wednesday: KL 5am
In KL, another successful Morning Club. Did Silence, contemplative prayer and meditation on Psalms 27, The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear. The Lord is the strength of my life, whom shall I be afraid.

14 December 2006 Thursday 4:30am
Not quite what I wanted to do to wake up at 4:30 to watch football til 6.00am. Anyway did my silence, contemplative prayer, journaling and prayer. Well it was a rush to do those things at six but I caught up.

15 December 2006 Friday 5:00am
Woke up on the dot without an alarm clock. It was another wonderful time with Psalm 27:14 Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord. Also prayed through my prayer list.

16 December 2006 Saturday 4:00amWoke up at 4.00 but it was too early so I went back to sleep only to find myself waking up at 6am for my time of contemplation and prayer. I prayed the Psalm which says “I will sing of His mercies forever, I will speak of his faithfulness to all the generations.

17 December 2006 Sunday 5:00am
Woke up at 5.00 again without the alarm. Did everything including preparing for the wedding. Completed the time by praying through my prayer list.

18 December 2006 Monday 6:00am
Woke up late because West Ham beat Manchester United the night before and I stayed up after the wedding to witness my waste of time. Woke up and went for breakfast with Mag. It was good time until we argued over something which made it even better (though it was sad when it happened).

Anyway over the few days I was away, the mornings have been good even though slightly inconsistent. However I'm moving closer to learning what works for me. It was tremendous time and I'm grateful to have had it.

VIVO City is huge

2006-12-07T23:46:00.000+08:00

Visited VIVO City after a field visitation with Mag yesterday. The place is HUGE. It's okay as its our first time there and as long as things are interesting and shops are in continuous stretch. Even so, its still a challenge. The big problem comes when we need to go to the toilet and that walk to the far end seemed like miles compared to constraint malls like the one we have in Tampines. There's nothing to see or do along those long corridors and when its really urgent, you wonder.

Now I know why Singapore is fast becoming a healthy nation. I read that the number of registered runners in the Singapore Standard Chartered Marathon has increased many folds through the years. Shopping in this country isn't becoming easier so why should the people be less fit. Without good fitness, I wonder if its ever going to be possible to shop in future malls and do one of Singaporean favourite pastime. When the city continues to reinvents itself, we should also continue to take care of our health. If not for shopping sake, for the sake of being the Lord's vessel that is effective and relevant.

I lost my digital camera. If not I'll post a picture of a fit Mag in her running attire. She's been running regularly ever since my advice to sharpen her saw. She used to complain of tiredness. Me?... now that's a different story for another post sometime.

Audio Cables

2006-12-05T16:08:00.000+08:00

A cable hooks the CD player to the pre-amplifier. Another one from the pre-amplifier to my new Acoustant TNT-200 power amplifier. Then I have 2 coming out of the poweramp. One to the 'treble' or hi frequency section of the speakers and another to the low frequency.

When I played a CD, I wasn't impressed, it didn't meet my expectation, a lot of qualities were missing. For days I wondered what was wrong. Then I decided to swap the cables that connected to the low and high section of the speakers and the sound came alive. There were a lot more treble and bass. However the midrange was compromised, Van Morrison's voice seems to be pushed right back. Finally I swapped the cable from my tuner with the cable to the cd player and I got the most amazing sound ever heard coming out of my system. And the sound from the tuner wasn't much compromised either.

Swapping the cables around in the system helps bring out the best with whatever I've got. If I'm rich beyond comprehension, I would have just bought new expensive cables and dumped the old ones. But with what I have, I tweaked and made the most of it.

Don't make people feel unneeded and useless, just because we haven't found the best fit for them in our community. It's worth getting to know them and finding what makes them tick and what sinks their ship so that we can better position them towards service. In God's community we can replace the weak, we can only help them find their niche so that they will fulfil their life calling.

"The Core" HopeKids Leadership Retreat

2006-11-27T00:38:00.000+08:00

Came back from the HopeKids Leadership retreat. Encouraged to see 19 people from different congregations with diverse background come together for 2 days of planning and retreat. We have only 2 things in common - Jesus and Kids Ministry. From as young as 19 to as 'mature' as 4o plus, it was a strong witness to what unity in diversity means.

The theme with a touch of 'fear' in it didn't seem to hinder many of us. Each of us were to answer 2 out of any 3 questions posed by the rest of the group throughout the retreat. All of us went through it without problems even though it was slightly uncomfortable opening up to private topics in a big group. We shared our memorable, joyful and embarassed moments and some of us private stories and well kept secrets as required.

I was amazed by the trust we have in the group by what was shared. It really demonstrated that in Christ, there's openess of lives as many of us don't know each other very well. I applaud those who dare to be vulnerable with one another.

People are in general not very good at trusting. It's a pity because that will mean a lot of life gets taken away. If we prefer a mask than the face of truth, we get further away from the core of who we are. I'm glad all of us were open. It was a wild time for me too.

Other than that, with the lessons, sharing, praise, worship and fellowship, I hope it was a good 2 days for everyone. To recap what I shared, THE CORE is...

C=Calling ..... We are God's beloved and we have a calling or purpose in our life to fulfill the great commission

O=Organisation ... We need discipline and organisation to get us going to fufill that calling. It is a tool to be used to make us effective in what we do.

R=Relationship .... We ought to develop trusting spiritual friendships where where's mutual exchange of leaning, sharing and Godly counsel. It helps us and supports us through difficult times.

E= Expression .... We are salt of the earth and light of the world. We have a unique voice which we can use to express our deep faith to others and to the world. We are superstars for Christ.

My prayer is that all may confront what our CORE is and with it, make a big difference in the lives of children and adults all over the world begining now ... or if not, the new year where we are 'moving out' in a bigger way to bless children and their families in Singapore.

Be His,

A joke I got from a friend...

2006-11-22T09:41:00.000+08:00

It's always a treat to laugh. Here's one i got from a friend. It has a local flavour with a bit of racist twist but don't take it too seriously. Just celebrate our differences. Realise I haven't been laughing for a while. Just invited all the guys from the office for lunch today. Hopefully we can laugh a lot.

WHO SANK THE TITANIC?

"Spielberg, You Sank the Titanic!"

A Chinese man walked into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushed over to him, and asked for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gave him a slap and said, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese man gave Spielberg a slap and said, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replied, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese man, replied, "Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg you're all the same."

Solitude in the Staff Retreat

2006-11-20T13:58:00.001+08:00

The staff retreat was an unusual affair. This time it was at Kota Tinggi Waterfall resort with the theme of Solitude and Prayer. Being left alone with lots of free time, and with nothing official to do, we naturally go about doing what is most urgently needed. Some of us slept, some of us played games, some of us read and some of us prayed. I thought we all needed the last one a bit more than others.

I brought my son Chern Han because I wanted to relief Mag from what she does full time and also because I can. It turned out to be a good bonding time with him. With a toddler with you, any given free times will be halved. Even so with every 3 hour session, 1.5 hours of solitude is still very good (or very difficult) for prayer. I was confronted with God alone without much to say and feeling uncomfortable about it. I am surprised how unfamiliar I am with stillness in an environment that is not like my own home or office or regular quiet place back here. It was like my solitude depends on the environment rather than God Himself as the distributor of peace. Anyway I tried to do my quiet time as effortlessly as I could, barely realising, that in itself, is effort. Solitude is not easy but it is so necessary. With the type of work we are called to do in the church, it should be compulsory. Whatever it is work or no work, we ought to be delighted in any effort we can be engaged to bring us nearer into God's presence.

Psalms 37:4 tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord and He will grant us the desires of our heart. I understood that it was wrong to keep persisting for God to grate us things after things and depending on its outcome to delight in Him. We ought to first find delight in the Lord. It should not be difficult because of His great love for us. Not hard at all if only if we are comfortable to be still and acknowledge the beauty and wonder of God. If it is difficult, then know that whatever effort needed to bring us into solitude and prayer onto the Lord is worth it.

Songs

2006-11-06T16:51:00.000+08:00

Listening to the song "Peace by Rich Mullins" in YouTube sung by someone else who didn't do a bad job and it really brought back memories of old times. This song was played during our first Holy Communion as a couple and it must be one of the most beautiful songs I know. Indeed we are all strangers, weird and disoriented never really look like we belong but we are united through love only by the peace of Christ.

I dug up some of my own songs written a few years back when I was trying to setup a home studio. They were used several times in ministry which is quite good because they were actually meant for my own therapy than anything else. If you can bear with them here they are uploaded in the Internet.

The first song is "Color of Life" which talks about the nature of the life that God has given us. It may appear good or bad, happy or sad but it is the 'Colour' of life which defines it and gives it meaning. To listen or download.

The second song was written before I became a father when May Ann was still in the womb. It is simply called "Father" a devotion. To listen or download.

The third song is a rock number called "Sunset" which is about surrender! It deals with our odd behaviour of craving control when it is obvious God handles our life much better than ourselves. To listen or download.

Enjoy, even if you need to laugh!

Playing Church

2006-10-28T18:16:00.000+08:00

May Ann is preparing for her exams so we were discussing about what it means to "pay now and play later" because playing now always ineditably comes with paying later. However after completed her revision and study, during some free time, we did play a little bit... we built our lego dream kids church.

This is the front door

It would be colourful and with a warm "We Love You" welcome message. Hmm why didn't I think of that

After church, there's a McDonalds in the compound to eat in

And its situated close to the beach for a good famiy time...

and for those who's not the beach type can visit the zoo too.

Kids have vision too!

Home

2006-10-24T04:13:00.000+08:00

Mag shared about her beloved Auntie. She concluded by reminding us that 'Life is really not measured by how long we live'.

Auntie Elsie was our model of a life that was totally poured out. If i could only be half the person that she was in selfless living and in giving to others, it will make a big difference to people around me. Her life of service in ministry and in dedication towards family & people around her was often quiet and never public until her death. She meant that her good deeds was not for the reward of recognition but just pure devotion. She left a legacy which will impact us for the remainder of our short lifetime and she'll definitely be missed by anyone who knew her. It was hard to say our goodbyes last Saturday. However we know it is only a temporary goodbye. despite the sadness, we ought to be happy because she had fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith. Despite the tears, we are glad that she's finally home and for quite a long time, she can rest in God's great peace. Goodbye Auntie Elsie, we will see you again!

Brisbane has no free internet ?

2006-10-06T16:48:00.000+08:00

Couldn't blog while I was away for my brother's wedding in Brisbane Australia. Anyway am back now and here are some photos which speaks about how beautiful the wedding was (or not depending on your taste)

These are three photographs I received via MSN from cousin Yen (the first lady from left of above photo).

We went to Steve Irwin's Australia Zoo, Sea World and Movie World together with the whole family after the wedding. This boy enjoyed himself so much that he cried when our bus arrived at the Brisbane Airport on our last day. He thought that it was bringing him to the Zoo again.

This trip was so good for us because it was around 8 years ago that Mag and myself was there for our honeymoon. I wish I can say it brought back good memories but we fought during that trip. This trip we only build good ones. We talked about ourselves and gained so much during this trip which would be impossible in our routine in Singapore. We learned a lot this time..

As bestman I had to do a speech during the reception for my second brother. Here it is...

Thank you Mr Mike Wills. And want to thank my second brother, Hong Liang for his kind words to the wedding attendants (which I’m one of them). Also want to thank him and Danika for the honour of being chosen the best man.

Speaking about that, my brother always been the best man. My eldest brother went overseas to study much earlier, so I was with no one else but my second brother to look up to. I followed him (secretly of course) as a little brother would. He has always been someone who’s passionate about what he does and goes all the way in what he has committed to do. I admired him for that. One of the things that he did when young was to watch TV and do well in school. That was him. But when I tried to follow him, I will get the first part right but I never seems to get through the good grades bit. I couldn’t keep up so I stick to study for exams. At about 15 or 16 he started to collect comics and I thought I’ll follow him. When he started putting comics into special air tight bags and took up carpentry to built big cabinets big enough to occupy a huge part of his room, I told myself I can’t keep up. A while later, the family emigrated to Australia, so we sold all our comics (we did our part). In Australia, Liang chose to study Computer Science in university and when it was my turn, I followed him. He did well after he graduated and given the opportunity he went for his honours. When my opportunity came, I followed him. He got his first class honours and I got a bit lesser. I barely kept up. True to his nature, he didn’t stop there and he went on for his PHD and decided on research and lecturing in the university. I couldn’t keep up. So I thought I should start making some money.

I moved to Singapore to do just that and we have lived separately since. That day I decided to stop following my brother. I worked for a good 10 years in a corporate MNC in Singapore before I decided to follow my heart to do what I thought I should be doing. Two years ago I joined the church as a full time worker although still doing IT there, I also have a role working with children as a minister. Work became more meaningful although it was less pay, I was glad I followed my heart. A few days before the wedding when I started to think about what my brother was doing, I wrote him an email and he told me what he's still in the university, doing research and lecturing and those academic stuff. Then it occured to me that my brother, long long before I had done so, had followed his heart from the very beginning. He went against the money of the corporate world and do what he thought he should do and have been doing it ever since. So unintentionally I realised I was still following him!!!!

I was married in 1998, today 8 years later, my brother finally followed me. My first daughter was born in 1999. I believe he’ll still follow me. I have 2 more after that, I wonder if he’ll EVER KEEP UP.

But seriously, it was never about competition amongst us. It was about admiration. I’ve learned about doing my best and going all out for doing something I believe in.

Today I'm glad that he went all out and found a wonderful wife in Danika. I’ve met Danika twice in Singapore, both times were such pleasant moments. I’m so happy for them and I just like to give all the blessings I can give today

Now, may I invite all of us to rise and raise our glasses once again to our bride and groom. May God bless them in their union together as one. “Cheers"

My brother responded in his speech to say that I was his hero. He mentioned somethings which some of them were my values reflected in what I do and the people that surrounds me. I never thought he thinks that way and I was so touched. I learned so much from him that night too. He shared about his bride being very organised. He said that the reason was because "dreams can only come through when one is organised". How right it was ...and I thank God that our dreams are possible because my wife Mag is very organised as well.

It was a beautiful wedding and it was also the better honeymoon for Mag and I, this time. I'm so thankful that God brought us so far. We pray for God to sustain us for a few more "8" years.

My Quiet Moment (Although not quite quiet)

2006-09-25T10:06:00.000+08:00

Since I setup the old classic Celesion SL6si speakers with another good classic Pioneer A-400 amp, listening has been quite different. Transparency is the characteristic of stereos that access the emotional essence of singers regardless of whether words exist or not. Ironically, my eyes are not quite as transparent as my ears could to sound of the system last night. Eyes been blurring again like it was a few months ago. Tried to get rid of it by resting them. Got to bed early last night but as usual nowadays woke up at 3+ in the morning.

Put on Handel's Messiah (Highlights) sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with the Philadelphia Orchestra under the baton of Eugene Ormandy. You have to love the lush string sound of the Philadelphia Orchestra. Not quite the same as the under Christoph Escenbach heard at the Esplanade a year ago. Under Ormandy they are much better.

Reading about Solomon's splendor in second Chronicles (Chapter 9). He has such fascination of gold. The passage talks extensively about all that Solomon had, gold & silver, wisdom, horse & chariots and all the stuff of earth. Both in quality and quantity. Solomon sure has extravagance of life. I was taken back when i turn the next page of my bible and the passage right after that reads "Solomon's Death". And Rehoboam his son succeeded him as King.

And I realise that the CD player was accidently set to repeat at track 11 of the Messiah Highlights CD. In Track 13, the chorus goes "All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned ev'ry one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all (Isaiah 53:6) "

It played at least 5 to 6 times and I got the point. I went back to sleep after some Babra Streisand…. Err ok, ok, I’m a big big fan and I’m not quite as young as I look.

How To Be A HopeKids Leader !

2006-09-20T18:34:00.000+08:00

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity - 1 Timothy 4:12

Preparing a lesson on how to be a leader... here's the summary

1) Decide To Lead

2) Commit To Learn

3) Trust To Love

and finally

4) Dare To Laugh ... and here's your ticket...

Canon in D Guitar

2006-09-12T17:26:00.000+08:00

I found this japanese playing great song by Pachelbel on a stratocaster. Blending of the old with new which is pretty fascinating because I'm a big fan of Canon in D and I'm pretty contemporary I would like to think.

Johann Pachelbel is of course the great composer who lived in the late 17th century. The bloke who wrote Canon in D which is pretty old stuff. The ancient stuff are usually outdated in this generation but this one has the appeal of people today. It was infact used as our wedding walk-in song. It is also May Ann's all time favourite classical pieces (She loves the London Symphony Orchestra's CD which her old dad gave her).

With this video, I actually wonder what does the blend of the age-old traditional church and today's contemporary youth sound or look like.

A few days back I sold my old Sansui amplifer from the 1970s as its old and taking up space. Did the amp still work ? Well yes! How does it sound ? Great, infact it had a warm vintage sound that you can't buy in the stores anymore. Although I do just a little, i don't regret it because its only a piece of equipment. There are many more 'vintage' stuff which i do cherish today because I found real contemporary significance of. And those I am assured not to sell. Not even for a million bucks.

HopeKids United Holiday Club (HUHC) Aftermath

2006-09-10T02:07:00.000+08:00

It's done and its messy. The damage is done.... took me a 2 days to recover. It's well worth it. Thank God pastor Jeff blogged the event for us. See his X2024 entry on HopeKids Went Zoo Hunting

We believe the door to the church for children should be a big one. The event was a amazing time for us to connect with kids. It was a total blast with some intentional kids programming helped by a gorilla suit. This is done so that spiritual values can be planted into children to build a new spiritual generation.

I thank God for an excellent team of people from staff right up to volunteers and helpers to make Zoo Hunt a roaring success. It's not about an event but its about a God centred community being build to lead kids to Christ, connect them to church and disciple them to be fully devoted to God. It's a real mess that has been created. Hope it will be the start of something that will turn the world upside down (or rather rightside up again). A beautiful mess I should say. In my spirit, I look forward to more intentional ministry towards kids in our church. It may be messy and some of the wackiest things we can dream about doing but its important and that will keep us going!

My 5 illnesses

2006-08-28T12:03:00.000+08:00

Last friday visited the doctor. Dr Lee's a friendly chap and he told me that I visit him yearly. It was almost exactly last year that I came. I came out with medicine for cough, throat infection, eye infection, stiffneck and headache. 5 in one visit, that's a collection of illnesses and should cover those times I didn't see him during the year. I had to preach on Sunday and with a throat infection, I prayed for my voice back in a speedy recovery. Come Sunday I had the perfect voice for a great time with the kids.

After a usual full Sunday, as I was walking to the hospital to visit auntie Elsie in the evening, I felt a heavy and deep conviction that a 'voice' is not good enough. That something else is required that I should ask for. I ought to pray for LOVE as well. I teared because I notice that the yard stick of a great Sunday has always been how well I delivered a message or how I so called 'performed'... and its seldom how much people/kids have received my service to God. How did they sense love from me. How much of what I do impacted people whether it is love by means of acceptance or a challenge.

I realise I have a long way to go but I pray I'm moving closer to what should be the perfect service to God because is not worth doing otherwise.

Some advices rendered to me during my 'down' time 1) drink water, 2) give yourself more rest and 2) don't carry heavy stuff. I think the last one has a spiritual meaning too.

A long dinner and fruitfulness

2006-08-24T01:12:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday night. I was at a dinner party with an auntie's guest who was loud and believed in speaking his mind. When i was introduced as her nephew working in the IT industry but now works in a church, he immediately declared "Now that's a bad idea". It was a long dinner, with many anti-Christians sentiments being shared by a group of matured and seasoned Christian bashers. It was amazing to experience the sustainence of God's hand throughout what appeared to be the longest dinner I ever had. Though I was nervous, I appeared as calm as ever cos I see it as a blessing.. ie. it did finally opened up that topic for conversation at a table I often eat in.

During the staff planning retreat today (or rather yesterday), we meditated on Zechariah 8:12 .. I went further and up to verse 13 it says The seed will grow well, the vine will yield its fruit, the ground will produce its crops and the heavens will drop their dew. I will give all these things as an inheritance to the remnant of this people. As you have been an object of cursing among the nations, O Judah and Isreal, so will I save you , and you will be a blessing. Do not be afraid, but let your hands be strong".

I'm reminded that fruitfulness is an inheritance. It is meant for us because we are his children. Yet as much we want it and expect it, we must not forget that it has to come out of certain brokenness. How can a kernel of seed grows ? By dying and falling to the ground. So when we have been an object of cursing because of the Lord, then we'll be a good candidate to receive. Yet, fruitfulness once attained is really meant for blessing others and not to be consumed and kept. Then we may ask what's the big thing about fruitfulness then? Well I don't know... maybe it just isn't meant to be a big thing after all, the big thing is the joy of serving and partnering with the Lord. Pleasing and being obedient to Him. If we don't find joy pleasing God, then no fruitfulness or success is going to satisfy either.

Thinking whether Jesus is my one true joy? If so, I'm thinking that I should not be afraid but let my hands be strong, to be ready to work hard and to endure shame, brokeness and regular repentence for these are I believe prerequisites for fruitfulness to come. And once fruitfulness comes, I hope I don't get sidetrack of being too excited about the fruits that I lose my direction all together. I fear that I'll find myself riding on a vehicle called "Pride".

Preparation for Zoo Hunt

2006-08-15T14:20:00.001+08:00

Zonc and Zinc
Zonc, Zinc and Zoe
Zonc, Zinc and Zoo Keeper
Zonc, Zinc and Tourist

http://www.hopesingapore.org.sg/hopekids...

Was it Henri Nouwen or Andre Previn ?

2006-08-11T10:28:00.000+08:00

Been through my rounds of re-reading books and when I read "the Wounded Healer" by Henri Nouwen again last night, I don't know if it was Rachmaninoff's second symphony playing in the background or was it Henri Nouwen's words which hit me so...err gently (no longer hard since I had kids and aged) and it revived my soul and hope for the world we are living in.

The Christian life does not eliminate loneliness and pain. Loneliness/pain is presevered and cherished. God will just make them bearable so that it may be offered as understanding and compassion onto others.

I joke (though I mean it) with Mag just a few weeks ago that I feel very much for those who are getting married or just got married about what emotional turmoil they still or will still have to go through. And all the singles/celibate to think that a married life make them a little bit less lonely! I'm reminded why I still feel lonely when I'm suppose to be happily married and why I still feel pain when i'm in Christian service ? While I've long stop asking how I can be less lonely as I know its the wrong question, I'm reminded (not in a person or a environment) it is just that loneliness or pain is a effective tool of healing and a open-access to the lives of fellow sufferers. We will not ministering where the action is, unless we have walked through a similar road God has some deliberately allowed before us. Christ identified with that loneliness as He didn't take His away, when he went to the cross, he made it bearable so that in it, he can reach you and for me.

Auntie Elsie came back from the hospital. While she was there, I realise I didn't make it a point to show her I was there and that I cared. I was scared and didn't want to disturb her rest. Though I pray for her everyday in private, I'm still totally hopeless in a hospital situation. It's not I don't care, its just too many other factors. We ought to be there for people to show others how they matter to us. It's what we are called to do. We are wired to visit... so let's visit because indifference is one of the most subtle, yet greatest form of evil.

I'm thankful to Henri Nouwen for the wonderful book and his other great writing. His quote "Every real revolutionary is challenged to be a mystic at heart" has always rings deeply within.... and I'm also grateful to Andre Previn for leading the London Symphony Orchestra so wonderfully in that symphony, for if not, something may be missing in that moment of reflection :-)

Be His

My math for a miracle...

2006-08-09T03:09:00.000+08:00

My second brother is getting married in 2 months time and I'll be heading for Brisbane at the end of September with the family to be his best man. But before that can happen, several things must happen which I'm busy working with. Our September children outreach, the church anniversary, the implementation of the church's new website and not forgetting the launch of HopeTots Time this weekend. Quite exciting work I must say ....if I don't think and worry too much about the outcome! Successful or not, just work at it with the best of ability. It is strange that sometimes it may not be easy putting in 100% because we may appear like a headless chicken running around and not trusting God to give him room to move. But I think putting 100% can also mean trusting God enough to do that. Imagine if we put in 50% expecting God to make up the rest, then the most we are going to get is 100% which means at most, a perfect job! That's all! If however we put in 100% and God does his usual 100% we will get 200% which to me means a miracle! My math is normally not good but this time I think its quite strong. 200% is I'm sure what the amount we need often in our lives in this broken world.

Rag's Quite Strong Mathematics Formula
50% + 50% = Great Job!
100% + 100% = Miracle!

Speaking of miracles, we need one for Auntie Elsie right now. Her case has relapsed and she's in the hospital. We want to put in all we can for someone who cared for people and who has so far lived a truly selfless life. Why does bad thing happen to good people? God is mysteriously at work. We are desperate for God's grace and mercy and we need 200%, we are reminded to put in our 100%.

A Nice Sunday!

2006-07-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

HopeKids LIVE! was enjoyable. Started doing "WIN" in our services where we want to ensure each child that walks into our service gets contact with at least 3 of us. The Welcomer, the involver and the networker when they step into the service. Kids are normally so short that they usually get missed. Furthermore adults often call for attention so will get ours more than these little fellas. We have to be intentional. Very intentional. The team is getting the hang of things and we are ministering more than we ever been in our services. It was good to see Freedy our new leader co-lead worship with Pris. He's great and Pris does a good job helping him.

After the service, was with the HopeTots 1 and 2 volunteers and leaders to help brief on the launch of the Tots Time service. I'm getting really excited about it and it will bring us to be more intentional as well in our outreach to children. Yes we are aiming lower and thinking smaller. :-) ..knowing that kids are the future worth our time.

The group of young volunteers and leaders make us feel young all over again. Over lunch the girls talked about boys, they made Mag laugh, I mean really laugh. They are deciding what to call her. Hannah call her "Godma" but the others wonder if they should call her "Madelin", "Auntie Madeline" or "Chern Han's Ma". They are undecided. Their energy rubs off positively to us. Some people feel uneasy by them but we take what we can and make the most of it.

It was a rare Sunday Mag and I have some time together. Alone without the kids. Mag had this $50 voucher given by her ex-company for a dinner at The Vineyard a restaurant in Laguana Golf & Country Club and its expiring tomorow. We dropped our kids at my auntie's to spend that time together. It was a lovely time together, the food was neat and meticulously created, the place was quiet and posh and we have free flow of appetiser and desert with a main course of NZ Tenderloin steak with baked Oyster. Mag had codfish fillet with escargo. With Jamie Callum playing in the background, it was a perfect 2 hours break. We paid $20 extra which we didn't mind. It was worth the time to be connected again and feel like we can keep going for a few more miles.

Life is that journey that is exciting and all, but still require some stop-bys to keep us going. It wasn't the food or the company, it was being led to a place where we can see what is ahead, clearer. Sometimes it takes food and certain company, but not all the time. We know nothing physical can do the job alone.

Back home now, with the kids asleep, trying to get some work done. Need to write a lesson for Unit Leaders Course. Listening to some classic jazz "Charlie Christian, The Genius of the Electric Guitar", feeling a bit thirsty, I looked for a nice drink to end the day. Thought what will do? Ribena, Rose Syrup, Tiger Beer, Coca Cola or some fresh juice ? Wasn't sure but couldn't find any of the options anyway so just poured myself a glass of cooked water. Realised that while I yearn for something else, it is water that I really need. How strange it is. Something to think about to to end a nice Sunday.

Not to mess up The Great Commission

2006-07-28T15:06:00.000+08:00


A humurous but poignant call for us towards spiritual work with children.

Found this is one of my favourite children's minstry blogMinistry Musing which in turn found it in the Children matter website.

Psalms 25:17-18 seems strange

2006-07-26T13:20:00.000+08:00

Psalms 25 verses 17-18 "The troubles of my heart are enlarged; O bring thou me out of my distresses. Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins"

As David was calling for the release of his trouble and distress, he did a strange thing to ask for forgiveness of his sins. Now wait a minute, shouldn't he calling for repentence of his enemies other than his own ? It is infact them who is sinning big time for causing him distress.

Maybe he knew something about human conflict that we don't. Maybe he knew it is good that to be contrite and quick to seek forgiveness from the Lord for our part in the trouble we are in. Maybe he knew that repentence can bring us closer to Him and that its good for the soul.

Legally Ours To Have

2006-07-25T23:39:00.000+08:00

Did a six hour non-stop work stretch on Monday but realise that it was a bad idea at the end of it. Brain freezed, went for a late lunch and walked passed a fashion shop at Roxy Square playing Sting's 'History Will Teach Us Nothing'. Hang around outside the shop to catch a quick listen to the song because it's too lame to look around at women clothes inside. The sound wasn't too bad from a mini compo and it was great way to release some stress. Then found a small cafe to have pork chop rice. Stayed longer to read through all their magazines on the rack over some home brewed coffee. Paid for the food & drink but not a cent for the magazines and left fully recharged. Did everything legally to refresh myself again and I'm back on track.

God's given us everything possible for a full righteous life. Nothing about it is illegal or even impractical. We just need to know what's okay to have, take hold of it and live. It is sad if we don't know God's Word enough and live with guilt of our actions not because its His Word but because of our uncertainty of it. I met someone over lunch today who is going through just that - all guilt and little truth. No words I say will make a big difference to change his mind unless he knows God and hence what's legally for him to have. He owes God not his feeling of condemnation but his obedience to get to know Him well... Only then will he truly live.

3 Sets of Teeth ?

2006-07-19T10:11:00.000+08:00

My washing machine is fixed and that's the end of handwashing our clothes. Mag is thrilled. It's always good to have something fixed. Speaking of that I think its about time I visit the dentist.

May Ann has this good habit of telling us what happens in school every day. Yesterday May Ann told me that each person has 3 sets of teeth. I thought only 2, the baby teeth or milk teeth and the other the final set of adult teeth. I thought there's some new discovery in science that they are teaching in the schools.

With some many problems with my current set, I was excited and filled with hope, I asked her so what are they? She said 1) the baby teeth 2) the adult teeth and 3) the denture! .... I was flabbergasted. It wasn't even a joke, she wasn't laughing. She meant it and I thought to myself that's really false hope, isn't it?

We get a lot of false hope from this world, not only from children but from adults too... especially from ourselves. We create false hopes to appease ourselves. We justify that its okay to conform to the patterns of the world because it gives a certain comforting feeling that we are doing it right when its actually not. We are called to be different because we have real hope that God is in control. He gives us this real hope so that we can take part in the redeemption work with Him.

So if things are not convenient and comfortable when we serve Him, it may not be wrong, it may just means that we are not dependent on hope that the world gives. It means we are following God and our hope is in Him alone.

What happened ?

2006-07-17T11:08:00.000+08:00

Can't believe I woke up at 3am in the morning to post my previous post.

This one made me laugh

2006-07-17T03:19:00.000+08:00

Ability to be grateful

2006-07-12T17:32:00.000+08:00

This is a photo of me done up with Photoshop Elements which is going to replace that pair of raggy shoes in my profile. Some people asked me why I could do these type of things ....I just told them 'I just took time to learn'.

A few weeks back someone mentioned something that bothered me. The person responded about something that I should do .."because you are multi-talented". I didn't take it as a complement. I felt uneasy. I never think that anybody is talented just like that. Show me talented people, and I'll show you hours, months and years of effort put into learning that thing that they are talented in. As Christians, I believe that the Lord bestow on us what we are faithful in using for his glory.

I remember the first time that I spoke in public when I presented my honors thesis before a group of professors and lecturers, I bombed out so badly I was a laughing stock in the batch. I remember people's comment of my purple sky and green skin of people when I first started to paint, I remember the first time I posted my songs on the internet, someone said that's the vice of the internet that songs like mine can be distributed to people all around the world. I remember the first website I developed for a customer in Ministry of Education, they say it looked like a cheap porno site. Nothing in my past suggest that I'm multi-talented just like that. I would like to think that everything that I could do today is a result of hardwork, faithfulness and the mercy of a great God. I doubt myself quite a lot but I never doubt God and what he can do. My goal is not to be good in anything but to trust God in my diligence and faithfulness.

I used to be proud of what I could do but I've long realised that its a one of the many man's futile pursuits. Nothing about what I can do drives me today. In the 2 weeks of being without a helper, it is easy to think that Mag and I are okay because we are such amazing people but it would be wrong when the grace of God is powerfully at work to sustain us.

In this world, how evil it is to give glory to self for power bestowed onto us because we are His children. We are robbed of greater glory when we allow ourselves seek glory for work not done by ourselves. If we seek self glory the sad thing is, that will be all we are going to get, 'Self glorification'. It is wise to wish for something more.. and that would be God's glory and the ability to be grateful

Alone in God

2006-07-06T10:50:00.000+08:00

Alone in God
my soul waits, silent.

My help is from Him. Alone in God
rest, my soul, in silence.
My hope is from Him.
He alone is my rock, my safety;
I shall not be shaken.

- Psalms 62:2,6

I missed Tuesday's devotion (amongst some other days) because I was devoted to other things which I cannot remember what they were. The truth should really be that if we cannot remember them, then it probably isn't worth doing in the first place.

Today I put my hope in the Lord again. It is 'again' that I'm saying this. I was given this quote “Every day I say to myself – today I will begin.” by St. Anthony of the Desert, and it must be so. So let's be His... not just yesterday or last week but today and everyday.

The Thrill Is Gone

2006-07-05T11:02:00.000+08:00

Germany packed their bags for an earlier flight home. They lost to Italy 2-0 in the semifinals ... but hey wait a minute they are home!

Yes most thrills are temporary. Anyway here’s a German song to remember 2006 World Cup in Germany. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY5zDQWd5bE&eurl=

Changes

2006-06-30T15:38:00.000+08:00

Our helper quit last Wednesday and we are left with the 3 kids and the entire household chore once again. Her reason is that she doesn't think she can take care of kids. When she left she turned to me and said "I'm sorry, sir". I can not forget that face of disappointment as if she has failed badly. We were concern about her future, if this is it! ie. she will be return to her family in Indonesia with nothing but that feeling of failure; We do like her attitude and humility as a maid very much but she’s just not wired up for kids. Anyway after 2 days, we were thrilled to learned from her agent yesterday that she found another employer and we were really happy for her.

As for us, we will have to make some adjustments. That means that Mag will stop work to be full time homemaker once again. So its laundry, cooking, bring kids to school, guiding them in school work and all that stuff. She's serving her one month notice now. Initially all of us objected with the new arrangement but after some thought and consultation with others, we think she's more needed at home. So now is the time.

Today I took half a day's leave (it's been 1 full and 2 half days already) to do my part at home. Mag went to work in the afternoon when I took over. The last thing she told me before she left is that the washing machine died (right, at such appropriate time!) So Mei Si and I have to hand wash the laundry. Mei Si volunteered before you think illegal child labor.. Chern Han was the fortunate chap to have his afternoon nap early.

From a few weeks back when all of them refused to help me wash the car, until now where everyone gladly agreed to take up new roles in the family, I think we found peace in this change. It is strange that peace is found in strange circumstance like this but really its not uncommon. We are sometimes too comfortable to think that discomfort can be good. The past few days We were waking up a bit earlier; we are cherishing little moments we have together. We pray more, appreciate our meals more and also come to depend on the Lord on more things. We thought about how this will affect our ministry. We thought about if ministry and cleaning the toilet can mix? We discover that cleaning the toilet and cooking is infact ministry and to win the world, we need to be willing to clean anything. As we learn to do everything onto the Lord, let's hope that its good training ground for us to enjoy the spirituality of mundane chores (just read something from Merton on this) and see our kids be trained to depend on God for diligence and hardwork rather than a maid for help around the house. It is great that life goes on and we may be better off with the change than not.

Anyway here are some photos of Egypt .. err I mean of the trip to the zoo with Mag's Aunties and cousins the week before (when she's still around)

Washing Car

2006-06-20T23:20:00.000+08:00

I asked my kids "Who would like to wash car with daddy?" I was hoping that Father's day will be that special time that the kids may respond differently and offer to help. To my delight all of them said 'Yeah, me!' until I soon learned they thought I asked "Who would like to watch Cars with daddy? When I clarified that I meant wash our good old car and not watch Disney's Cars, all of them said "not me" and went on playing.

I had a 8 year old cousin from Canada stay with us the past two days and with 4 kids in the house, I realise that I don't like children. I need to rest to regain some strength.

Father's expectations

2006-06-18T00:32:00.001+08:00

Today’s Father’s day and I can’t help think of my father. My dad’s a hard working man who worked so hard to provide for the family. But more than anything that he gave to us, I appreciate the most that even though he was busy he always had time for us. He was a very present father and the security of his presence when we were growing up meant so much to us.

If there’s something not so great about my dad, it would be that he doesn’t deal on a emotional level. He didn’t talk much, let alone have those one to one conversations with his children. So the time when I was like 17 or 18, when he drove me beside a quiet lake in Ampang to have a father son, one to one time, I thought he was trying to get rid of me. You know something happened at work and he couldn’t support 4 children and one of us have to go type of thing. Well, that day he spoke to me so warmly and firmly. He told me distinctly 2 things I remember til today, the first is that there’s no money in rock’n’roll and I should pick a decent career that feeds mouth. He probably noticed what I was listening to and with Def Leppard and Skid Row posters all over the wall of my bedroom plus friends that I mixed with, I don’t blame him for being concern. (But only if he had heard me sing that he’ll know I have zero future in rock’n’roll or any close). A career that feeds mouth, that's the first thing... the second thing is ..(you know I was a shy & timid boy) he told me that I should not look down on the floor so much cos there’s nothing there for me. Stand tall and be proud of who you are. That day I got lectured big time but you know what I appreciate it! I didn’t then but now I appreciate that not only he has time for me but he cared enough to have expectations of me.

We all have the security of God’s presence. Psalms 121:4 says he who watches over Israel will neither sleep nor slumber. Our heavenly Father doesn’t sleep and if he doesn’t plays golf either, that means he has all the time for us. That is security we all have in him. Have you ever wondered what his expectation is of us? I didn’t like my father’s lecture that day but I was glad that he had expections of me cos today I’m not in rock’n’roll and I’m feeding mouth …. physically and even more spiritually in the children’s church. And I almost never walk with my head looking down now. I thank God that dad had expectations of me.

Today, let’s remember our heavenly Father's promise that He’ll be with us until the end of the age. With that security let’s think about what He expects of us. If we know that and live out that purpose, we’ll never be the same again. I’m pretty sure of that.

Cars ... and 8 years of life together

2006-06-14T12:04:00.000+08:00

We celebrated our Children Camp success with 13 ministry leaders & volunteers yesterday. 3 mothers, 3 kids, a couple, 2 single adults and 2 students. With a simple dinner, ice-cream at Gelare and the Disney/Pixar movie 'Cars', it was a fantastic way to celebrate a milestone in the ministry. Our celebration ended at 12 midnight and to some of us its been quite a while since we are able to do that. It was truly a great & 'youthful' time.

Yesterday was also our 8th Wedding Anniversary!! Hey, look, we made it pass our 7th year (and we don't recall itching). The journey may be challenging but the peace of God powerfully graced us through. The movie "Cars" sum up our marriage. It was fast but now moving to our twilight period where its slowed down to a more reflective or perceptive way. We no longer have anything to prove to each other and to others, we already know and assume others too. It's now no longer pride/achievement oriented but friendship and partnership focussed. Kids have been the most obvious blessing with God the pivotal difference. We are glad to know that its been 8 years.

This is Mag's favourite song and its slowly and surely replacing "Nothing Ever Happens by Del Amitri" to becoming mine too. hahaha

"Through The Years" by Kenny Rogers
(steve dorff/m. panzer)
I cant remember when you werent there
When I didnt care for anyone but you
I swear weve been through everything there is
Cant imagine anything weve missed
Cant imagine anything the two of us cant do

Through the year, youve never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days Ive found
Ive found with you ... through the years
Ive never been afraid, Ive loved the life weve made
And Im so glad Ive stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I cant remember what I used to do
Who I trusted whom, I listened to before
I swear youve taught me everything I know
Cant imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I knew how much we had, Ive always been so glad
To be with you ... through the years
Its better everyday, youve kissed my tears away
As long as its okay, Ill stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belonged
Right here with you ... through the years
I never had a doubt, wed always work things out
Ive learned what loves about, by loving you
Through the years

Through the years, youve never let me down
Youve turned my life around, the sweetest days Ive found
Ive found with you ... through the years
Its better everyday, youve kissed my tears away
As long as its okay, Ill stay with you
Through the years!

Trees

2006-06-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

Last week, on my journey to work I started noticing trees again. I am a big fan of trees. I remember when I was working in Grange Road where it's 2 bus stops away from Orchard Road MRT that I would choose to walk because by walking I get to go through rows of trees along Paterson Road which in my opinion are the best looking trees in Singapore. The trees were huge and majestic, compared to the ones around Joo Chiat which is shorter and stout. Nevertheless I enjoyed it and am reminded me of the state of my being. I thought that oh boy, how long ago was it when I last admired trees. I thought that the older I get and the more i grow in the Lord that I start to stop and soak things more than rush by them. I need to do something about it.

So I did. In my quietness, the Lord pointed to me in John 4:13, Jesus answered the Samaritan woman by the well, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst…“

Ah, so there are two types of water, firstly, earthly water that we will make us thirst again and secondly water that Jesus gives where we will never thirst. Possessions, accomplishments, relationships and even ministry achievements seems like earthly water that causes me to thirst again. Only water from Jesus Himself will satisfy.

I am in awe cos I know that the water that Jesus gives is not physical water nor is it water with any magical attributes. The water is actually Himself. And to give Himself to us means that we can reject it and move along or stop to accept spending quality time with Him. It potentially means also that we can start marvelling at the Lord of Creation and at the same time find the eye to notice and admire trees once again.

Something I've not quite seen before

2006-06-06T23:46:00.000+08:00

In Krabi, there's something I've seen which I have not quite seen before. It's nature in forms different from those I'm familiar with.

Is God a genius or what.

Just last week, I saw something different and also not quite what I've seen before. At the HopeKids Camp where we were running the children's camp together with the family group at Sofitel Resort, Johor it was an unusual sight. It wasn't an extravagant affair but the dedication of the people was remarkable. With a small team, from the recording of the theme song to the details of the deco, teaching, review and games, it was sight of commitment and dedication at a new level.

These photos tell stories of people who sacrificed their time, annual leaves(and lives), family and finances for the cause of children. They know they have caused some permanent damage to the enemy for the future of the church.

I've not quite seen myself like I was at the camp either.

That of course is a different story.

I've come to appreciate the people I work and serve with. They are what God has done for me to enrich and irritate me. Yes, its not always good but its not all that bad because good relationships are always character molding. For now, I'm just grateful for a team of people whom I must say really showed me the way.

Reading books again

2006-06-03T11:30:00.000+08:00

In my past few reflections, I've been thinking of reading more and getting back into the habit of doing so. The busyness of work had really been getting to me that I'm dried up rather than being fulfilled by it. I missed having perspective and move things rather than be moved by it. It's one of those things we go through when we are passive about life. Being active means praying, meditating of God's word, reading, exercising and visiting the old folks home.

I grabbed a book 2 days ago which I finished reading within a night. A good 6 hours stretch, I read with great enlightment its conclusion at about 3am in the morning. The next day was play day at our Staff's Family Day so that means a good 2 active activity in a row.

The book is called the Tipping Point. I'm not good with names so I can't tell you his exact name. It's Malcolm something, the same author who wrote 'Blink'. Ah him.. i hear you say... His dealing with the issue of social epidemic in the book is excellent and gives us a hint of the characteristics of the trends and patterns we are better off knowing.

I recommend it to all those who gather in big groups and talk for hours just to end up with a solution that deals with the surface of the issue. If you like me are one of them, you must read this. It goes into my list of 'Books Of Fame'.

Using a public computer & the Great Commission

2006-05-15T06:55:00.001+08:00

As there's a piano I had to play, there are computers I just had to scan for virus and run anti-spyware on. It's part of nature to want to maintain. Life's preserved when there's some effort. On second thought .. I think for my case its not so much an effort but more of a habit because I work in the IT department.

During my time away, I've been thinking of the Great Commission about how it can be done and what are our contribution to it. If George Barna (reference) is correct that kids moral development is established and formed at the age of 9, discipleship starts when they are in the children's church. I have had many motivation of children's ministry from providing child minding so that parents can attend the service right to because its hard to teach children so serious effort is required. Now the motivation has been to train them young to form them into discplemakers because humans are creature of habit. Fulfilling the great commission and making disciples require strong habits of following God, discipleship and church planting.

We are excited that God is bring much needed resources and people into the ministry. Our senior pastor's wife, Pastor Dinah shared the mother's Day message to our kids while I was away and it was a life changing time. We need to move from coincidental efforts to deliberate ones. God will partner us to bring about the work of changing the world through the seed in the smallest possible form in our local church.

From the hotel of Krabi

2006-05-12T16:36:00.000+08:00

There's an old piano in the hotel lobby I cannot resist playing. It takes only 3 jazz chords to bluff others that I play jazz but after a few minutes, its no longer about my self consciousness, I was really enjoying myself and nobody else cared. It just made sense to play regardless of who is listening.

We often think that people think about us more than its true. Yes, people are initially curious what we are doing. After that, they have better things to think about than dwelling on us. It is just so important we know that to overcome the first fear and get about doing things that we should do especially if its right that God intend us to do.

Lately i was reminded that investing in people seems like the ultimate right to do. Last night after Mei Si's class, she responded to my request to help me throw some rubbish I was holding in my hand. I couldn't resists to ask her if that act of helping me felt good. She nodded readily and added to tell me about the last time she and Chern Han her little brother helped to keep things away in the house and it felt good.

If it feels good to children and children's feelings is as genuine as it gets, it should feel good to adults too. It makes sense to help, give and invest in others.

Photographs of the rest of my trip

2006-05-09T11:11:00.000+08:00

The "Information Boat" (Booth) of the children's ministry center

Mr & Mrs Craig Jutila, pastors for All Stars, Children's Ministry of Saddleback Church.

Some friends in children's ministry I met amongst over 3 thousand who gathered for the event.

Pastor Kieun Yu is English & Education Pastor for San Jose Korean Presbyterian Church. Had a quick dinner, drink and fellowship with him before we left.

Eric Voris is the associate children's minister for First Christian in Phoenix. We are posing with California Oranges for lunch at Orange County.

One of half a dozen halls in the children's ministry center. Equipped with xboxes and arcade games

Landscaping around the center specially designed to tell 40 bible stories to children. Should have got the shot of the stone and tomb of Jesus.

A photo with a typical children's ministry leader. Amy Branley is a core leader in the All Stars Team. She's wearing a typical uniform on a weekend.

In Saddleback church, you can shop for the style of service you want. Cool but for those who hate shopping, hate making decisions ... not so cool..

How I got around with 3 USD per day. The All Day Pass is an excellent way to see the place.

Laguna Beach ...

It's the most beautiful place I got to hang out at one the afternoon after the conference.

Stayed with Pastor Albert and family for the last 2 nights there. Visited Hope Irvine (OC) for Sunday Service and it was a refreshing time. Great man of God and warm family.

Took a train early in the morning from Orange County to spent a day at LA before my flight at midnight.

There's the skyline around Beverly Hills.

American styled hot dog on the streets of LA

Street performer playing for loose change

Travelled on their neat subway ...

Americans of latin origin hit the streets on what is labor day to us to march for equal rights as citizens.

Spent most of my time at the LA Contemporary Art Museum because its free after five. The place is HUGE and I spent my most relaxed/reflective time there.

Never got a chance to catch the LA Philharmonic but caught a shot of their new home at Walt Disney Concert Hall.

I've learned so much on this trip which the most important is that children's ministry is not to be done. It is to BE. It is true we don't do church. We are the church. I'm grateful for this wonderful time of learning. It has opened my mind and heart to more of Him and in my abundant time alone, the Lord has made me come closer to Him. God is our good Father.

Thanks for all who contributed and prayed for me. I hope the seed will become a tree that it may be shelter to many more in our church. May God humbled me with new knowledge and the working out of it in our ministry.

2006-04-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

Wireless internet in the motel died yesterday. Anyway here are some photos... from the children ministry center to the worship band.

Pre-conference meeting with Craig Jutila

2006-04-26T18:59:00.000+08:00

I made it travelling around Orange County without a car. The deal is I did all my travelling for the day for only 3 dollars with a day pass. That's even cheaper than Singapore, considering I'm in expensive Orange County. Just had to pull out 3 things in my spiritual arsenal
1) Planning... Yeah God bless the internet... and the Orange Country Transportation Authority for having a trip planner feature in their website.
2) Walking.. Glad I still have this....
3) Waiting... Yeah baby.... waiting on the Lord and it's all paying off...

Everybody advised me to rent a car or something. The motel staff even discouraged me from taking public transport because according to them nobody does it. I learned that when someone says nobody does it, there's somebody who's doing it.

At the end of the day having done it, I was determined to make my entrance into the motel reception holding my 'Day Pass' and do a show & tell of my experience, but those guys were not on duty. It's like the Lord knows. Anyway its not really that I'm subborn. It's just more economical. Also its between moving around in comfort and having a to stay at the end of the trip. However I'm just happy that so called old-fashioned ways still has its application today.

The pre conferenece session was good. It was entitled Leadership Essentials with Craig Jutila. Craig is the pastor of children's ministry there. The purpose of his session wasn't really to teach through he shared an out of planned lesson called 12 'Don'ts' that is worth doing based on his 18 years in the ministry. He tried to connect with us by being authentic with the life that he had to lead as a pastor, husband and dad. His wife Wendy shared about the struggle the family goes through. Craig is ADD and 2 of his three kids are ADD as well so I can imagine. With all the things they balanced as a family, in leadership and ministry, the often had to go to sort of hell and back. They had great tips of having breakfast together (which is something that I appreciate that we do) and dating once a week. Or at least they try to cos they haven't for one for a few months now. Their breakfast on their day off on Friday was to plan and communicate what each had to do for the following week. They also trash out whatever that needs to be trashed out. Friday night is dating night. In Singapore we don't call it dating. We call it courtship. Sometimes I feel that before marriage, courtship is like tennis where we hit the ball to the other in the way they will hit it back. After marriage, we try to hit the ball, hoping she misses and the ball remains on her side of the court. Whatever it is I think we all need to be teachable and allow God to show us his wonder in whatever that appears not so wonderful.

Some of the things I learned.
- Most of the time bad news are exaggerated don't sweat over it, move on
- Don't just do it, be it. We don't do children ministry, we have to be children's ministry.
- Don't spend your time, invest it. esp. invest in people.
- Balance buying and building noting that curriculum can be bought but leadership can't be.

Connected with several children ministry leaders, pastors and director. We talked little about ministry. We just talked and get to know one another. It was great, I feel all of us had this humble disposition of approaching the time with certain emptiness, a certain element which say 'we don't know anything.... tell us something'. Most of the poeple I talk to said 'Your english is so good'. Now that's flattering. Nobody ever said that to me before, NEVER ! Not even once. Now to have 3 or 4 similar comments in one day. I may just decide to run for MP.

Was in bed by 9 last night. Had six hours of sleep before and up again. It's 3am now. In a few hours time I'm off again for the first day of the conference. I don't know but for all those who came last year whom I spoke to, the said that I'll love it. This was meant to be an email to Mag but it'll catch her at a wrong time so I turned it into a blog entry. Hope you don't mind my ranting.

I'm in Orange County, California

2006-04-25T21:12:00.000+08:00

The shops were closed since 6pm. It is now 4:30 in the morning. I slept very little because it should be still 7:30pm in Singapore. Enough of thinking that I adjust well to jet lag as I conveniently tells everybody who ask. Actually I don't seem to. Gave a call to Mag and the kids because it is perfect time to. They were so happy to hear from me. I'm too too (of them of course). It is good to have a family. A family with God in the belly (or centre). That's the way to go. He made love possible...He made it pragmatic too. I can't imagine having to love with my own strength. Not only is it tough and tiring, I think it will not be possible.

The motel room is okay. The weather is not too bad. Spent the whole night adjusting the dial to between the heater or the aircond. The auto-regulator had a hard time deciding too. It was constantly switching itself on and off depending on the room temperature. Didn't realise until now I can just turned it off since the weather is perfect. I did and it was excellent. I felt silly but I think we all have tried to adjust something when its best left alone.

The problem is we feel uneasy when we don't do something. I have seen many people (mostly ladies) put on think make-up when they are more beautiful not. I would say if you anyone needs to do something. Pray and talk with Him. You will be spiritually nourished and at the same time, you'll save on make-up, on clothes ... on buying more DVD and CD or cars or insects ..whichever thrills you.

I'll be off to the pre-conference meeting with the children's pastor in Saddleback in a few minutes time. I'll be 4 hours early because I'm taking public transport which to many people is unthinkable in California. I feel like a student living in the hostel going for lectures again. I feel like I know this place, I don't feel like a tourist at all. I have no urge to go to Disneyland, Sunset Boulevard, Walk of Fame or anything in Hollywood. The product of Hollywoood is in the TV screen. I never liked its product. I'm not against it, its just that I prefer music. I keep hearing Mahler's Symphony Number 2 in my head. I don't know if its just in my head or its' someone's radio blasting next door. People here listen to lots of symphony orchestras. I hear it at the Shuttle bus, I hear it in the nearby second hand bookshop. I hear it while trying to sleep. If I have a bit of extra cash I won't mind visiting the Walk Disney Concert Hall to catch the LA Philharmonic but right now its not important. I'm starving and I need to go get breakfast before making my way.

Planning for the US trip...

2006-04-05T22:59:00.000+08:00

Waiting for my US visa to be approved was quite a nerve-wrecking time. I didn't have much time to plan for the trip to attend a children's ministry conference in LA so besides getting my plane ticket, there's the VISA issue because I'm a Malaysian and Malaysian needs a visa to go to the States. I was quite nervous to go for the interview as I never needed a visa to anywhere before in my life. As the first time doing anything there's a bit of apprehension. I tried my best to look peaceful, carefully ensuring there's no hint of terrorism in me. My smile even though a bit artificial due to nerves was innocent enough. The officer who interviewed me passed me. I got it just like that. It was not too bad after all. Actually many things aren't too bad once we start doing it. The person before me got the "Lady Officer" my travel agency warned me about. God knows what is best.

In the embassy, I noticed a poster for 5 wanted man with a US 5 million dollar reward for information leading to them dead or alive. I wonder if my life is worth 5 million dollar. What would I do with it ? These 5 people may be worth 5 million dollars but its 5 million worth for someone else and not for them really. It's not that flattering after all. Infact its a pity. Mine life is worth God's own death come to think of it and not only that, I get to enjoy that value for myself. Now I don't really know the price of God's death but I know its definitely more than money can buy.

I'm 20 days away from going to US for the first time and there's so little time to really think about it. However I do think about how grateful I am for my friends, family and the church who made the coming trip possible for me. Their investment in my life and their believe in the purpose of the children's ministry is something that humbles me. My life is really not about myself and what I do, but its about a community of people working together towards the divine work of God and with God Himself standing in the centre of all. It's no point owning our own life and having to fight for our every single worth when we can surrender it to the one who already consider us worthy and values us much more than 5 million pieces of a US dollar note. I'm living in that faith that I don't need to work anymore and I'm loved.

3 toughest things in life

2006-03-27T00:10:00.000+08:00

The three toughest challenge in my life is number one, being a good Christian, number two, being married and number three, having kids and teaching them. While these three things are the toughest things they are also the most rewarding and satisfying to do when done well. If one is a good Christian, one is a good husband, if one is a good husband, one's a good dad & quite a teacher to children. I wish I do these things well but I'm trying and I have Christ as my strength. And that's sufficient. If I don't, I think I don't even stand a chance.

Today had been a real excellent day. There's so much that I can do without Christ but only so little things worth doing. It's an excellent day because all that happened was in the power and glory of the unseen. More of God and less of ourselves is more and more the only way to live. It's no longer an option, its a necessity, its the only way of life I know that is worth waking up for. After an excellent day, with the kids retiring early, Mag and myself talked and snacked on sunflower seeds, almond chocolates, papayas and milk while watching channel news asia (a documentary on Hanzhou). It could have been fried chicken, chocolates and tiger beer over some meaningless chinese series. I just got well and some could have been really bad decisions. It was a perfect way to end a real excellent day. Tomorrow we are taking leave to host some relatives who just came from Canada. It will be another good day depending on how much of ourselves and of God is involved.

Destined for wellness

2006-03-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

I'm excited about resting tonight. My body's been aching and running a slight fever which didn't stop me from being able to complete all I had to do today. I had more kids prayed for me than adults this time. My son prayed, my daughter prayed, Deborah prayed and I'm destined to get well. I'm excited about resting tonight. It's good to be destined towards wellness.

Having breakfast ....

2006-03-17T14:51:00.000+08:00

Have been busy with many 'Martha' moments the past few weeks. However there have also been many 'Mary' reminders nicely spread-out. The first was during last week's care group when God used me to speak to myself (?), then it was during our kid's workshop on Wednesday when i was sharing about 'Knowing God vs Knowing About God'. Then it was lunch yesterday with Jan where we talked about kids and IT ministry and about the Kingdom being 100% man & 100% God.

The latest reminder to have a Mary heart was just a few hours ago during the Staff Devotion where our collegue Limei shared certain reflections of Simon Peter from John 21:1-14. Besides that, a strange question came to me when i read the passage. Why was Peter fishing in undergarments as verse 7 says that he has taken his outer garment off ? I was also excited also that Jesus said "Come and have breakfast" in verse 12 besides the famous line "Come and follow me". Now aren't we glad to have such a wonderful God, our Jehovah Jireh Provider..

Just right after the devotion, a good friend Thomas called to check if we can catch up for breakfast tomorrow morning. Now how can I say no. I'm looking forward to it as I am constantly reminded that while Martha's work is not wrong, Mary's heart is better.

A long day

2006-03-08T01:04:00.000+08:00

Morning
Bought two chinese made Hero 336 fountain pen from yahoo id 'foreverfriends' who operate near my office. He gave me two free gifts for being a regular customer. It was 2 disposable felt pens (from Hero too). He's beginning to be my key supplier of cheap writing pens from China. This time I'm more impressed with the free pens that the ones actually bought. They write so well & so wonderfully that I've been journalling with it more than I usually write. Writing more than i have things to write feels totally weird. I didn't let that bother me too much recognising most of us are weird and there's really nothing to hide. Infact I write so that I'm in touch with whatever sanity or madness that's in me. It has been a tool for so long, I could no longer write just to be heard. Journalling speaks to me much more than I could speak through it.

Afternoon
I'm a badminton player. Though amateurist but I play with purpose, I thought my game of badminton with some colleagues during lunch time today was perfect way to keep up my exercise plan. It was perfect also because the court was just across the road, I just have to skipped across from the office. I also skipped lunch today.

Evening
After work I went straight to a public lecture "The Romance of the PC Grid" at the new National Library organised by the National Grid of Singapore. I still wasn't hungry so I couldn't eat though I was hungry for information. I was curious what the hype of Grid computing is about and I must say I was enlightened. Although the speaker shared some really interesting facts, I'm more amazed by the speaker's vision of where he want to bring it to. It's good to be inspired by people who are focused and determined in what they do. It helps me realise that its good to have a vision in life. A big vision that one could strive towards and also one that humbles you. We all have a big vision from God and he calls for our diligence, focus and humility to move towards it. It's not an important vision that He needed help in but its an important vision that is purposed for us to be involved. As for Grid computing, its for me to have a vision for it in the Kingdom.

Night
Reading a book called "The Ice Cream Maker" by Subir Chowburry about Service Excellence and the sleeve of Sting's DVD called "Bring On The Night". Don't know if I can stay up to catch Barcelona wallop Chelsea tomorrow morning. God taught me about caring for people. Anyway this is another very long day.

Feeling sick

2006-03-02T03:35:00.000+08:00

Came back from work not feeling very well. Then during dinner, aggravated it by drinking a whole can of Coke Lime which has been accidently frozen in the freezer. It bloated up quite horribly, so I defrozed it at room temperature and drank it whole. That was a big mistake. It was downhill all the way. The kids have been down with stomach flu and my tummy aches like it. I felt so bad that even if there's a truckload of diamonds in front of me, I'll choose feeling better again. Mag's looked enlighten. I think I really made my point.

After dinner, we still tried to visit Hana, a child who visits HopeKids. She wasn't around last Sunday so just wanted to find out how she is. Nobody home, so dropped our service bulletin in her mailbox and left. In the car, still feeling sick, I asked Chern Han my 2 year old son "Chern Han, can you pray for daddy who's sick?" He bowed his head and said "Tank yu, Jeeses, pray daddy sick, amen!". I didn't know what to think. I said thank you and turned to ask Mei Si to pray too. She did.

Last night I slept early on the couch. Read some newspaper and slept listening to some music. I woke up at 2am, watched Friends and did some work. Now I can't sleep again, but praise God my tummy's been better. I wondered if it is my son's or my daughter's prayer that God answered. Maybe its both because they are the same prayer anyway. Even if one didn't sound quite right.

Listening to Fontella Bass singing the beautiful "The Light of the World" from her
No Ways Tired album. So much soul the way she calls out "Jesus, light of the world". In the title track, her words "Nobody tells me the road was easy... I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me ... " should help me sleep. See you later in the morning.

At the Asian Aeroshow

2006-02-27T17:07:00.000+08:00

Brought 3 kids (Nathan together with my two May Ann and Mei Si) to the Asean Aerospace Show at Changi Exhibition Village last Saturday. Mag's employer Eurocopter South East Asia has something big to do there so we got in for free. It was a hot Saturday afternoon but it was very interesting getting close to missiles, defence weapons, cockpits of planes, Super Puma helicopters, etc Never did any national service myself so the deadliest thing I ever got close to before this are cranky kids

We spent the afternoon exploring armoured vehicles, guns and weapons as we never have before. It was an eye opener for us but one of the best moments was when we found Mag's company's Guest Room for air conditioning, pastries, drinks and ice creams. The Ben & Jerry icecream was great .. the first time I tried B&J and I like it better than Haagen Daz or Gelare. Maybe because they are free. I don't know but I keep telling people that some of the best things in life are free.

Anyway after the break we went outdoor to the runway and at the tarmac, we got near to 2 or 3 dozens of airplances which I could only recognise the F-series fighter planes. Though this F-18 figher is much cooler,

I prefer this vintage looking one.

I'm a sucker for anything classic. Think gone are my days where bigness and speed rules (and coolness is just as important as oxygen). It is better now for me to just be myself, act my age, soak things up rather than let them fly by me. I learned from GK Chesterton that its better to be like ordinary boys living in a magical world than to be a larger than life hero living in a dull world. The first just like in old time fairy tales has so much more to live for. We were all like ordinary boys and girls in the bigness of the Airshow.

At the end of the day Mag asked the kids what they like the most about the show. I was surprised it wasn't the cockpits, the model airplanes, nor was it the Ben & Jerry Ice-cream. It was infact little pin badges they collected from some of the booths which they wear on them proudly throughout the show. What goes through a little young mind I can never fully understand but I can get a bit closer everytime. Infact we can get a bit closer to everything that we have had courage to try to do.. We just need to stop thinking that life has to be perfect and start living knowing making mistakes is always a step forward.

It was a good Saturday afternoon for us all at our first and perhaps last Aerospace show in Singapore. I think next year, they are moving to Hong Kong which is sad because that leaves 'boys' with one less thing to look forward to.

Following God

2006-02-21T12:26:00.000+08:00

Over the weekend, I attended 3 services. Wilson and Belle's Wedding on Saturday, our HopeKids Service on Sunday morning and on Sunday afternoon, the church wide Water Baptism Service. We were so late for the first one because the children had to go for their chinese class but were just in time to have a photo taken with the couple. On Sunday it was a fantastic children service for us. Our two visitors Ps Jeff and Simon my colleagues commented that the atmosphere was great and uplifting. Simon said that he was blessed by the service and that it was unlike the Sunday School he attended when he was young. The team really did a great job. In the afternoon, we baptised 3 kids in water, following God's command to baptise people in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The weekend ended quite meaningfully. Witnessing the coming together of 2 people to be life long partners, ministering to children who are the next generation of the church and baptising people into the family of God. Following God, this is what weekends should be made of.

Reading the book "Purpose Driven Youth Ministry" by Doug Fields to work on our March volunteers recruitment over lunch yesterday. The Lord led me to read the same page 5 times. I was annoyed. Normally that happens if a book is not engaging enough that I get distracted and I don't have a bookmark but it wasn't so. It was a great book and I was determined to read on. So I really think the section on 'the prayer team' must be important. I agree that I have to firm up the prayer aspect of the ministry because it is obvious we cannot do without it. Since we can't be smarter than God, it's a good direction for me for the week and I'm not so annoyed anymore. I will not follow my heart, nor my nose nor my dreams but God my wonderful maker.

I'm reminded of one of my favourite Rich Mullin's songs, "The Maker of Noses". Here's the chorus.

They said boy you just follow your heart
But my heart just led me into my chest
They said follow your nose
But the direction changed every time I went and turned my head
And they said boy you just follow your dreams
But my dreams were only misty notions
But the Father of hearts and the Maker of noses
And the Giver of dreams He's the one I have chosen
And I will follow Him

2 Mangos on a Tree

2006-02-14T00:47:00.000+08:00

If we worry, we are living in the future. If we regret we are living in the past. I'm learning to live in the present where God can be found. God reminded us to be still and know he is God and the problem with us is that we can hardly be still. When we manage to stop worrying and regreting, we are planning and evaluating, leaving little time for the moment. God works in the present. He speaks and works in the present, so we ought to observe, listen and respect such 'opportune' time.

In the evening as I was trying to live in the present, I notice something I never noticed before. The big mango tree next to the playground at my house has only 2 fruits hanging from it (I'll post the picture soon) And they are at the outer side of the tree directly facing me- hanging there majestically yet subtly as if only for those who are attentive to see. I carried my kids to take a closer look and questioning why only 2 fruit for such a big tree. Both May Ann and Mei Si thought the care taker only watered that particular side of the tree. I suggested maybe God saw that the tree was barren and since its no good, decide to place two mangos on it. The kids seemed to be happy with that reason so we left to another place determined to see other things never seen before. We played a game and took turn to lay on our back on a exercise bench with our heads looking upward. It was fantastic in that position as we start to see stars and constellations, surrounded by leaves of the tallest trees and the passing of white clouds with the wind. I thought if we could be sensitive to the moment, look at things we often don't that God wishes us to, we are able to hear & live God's will better.

It's 12.57am. 14th February 2006, so its Valentines Day already. Romance ought to be in the air as I'm beginning to associate the two solitary mangos hanging on the tree to be Mag and me. OK it sounds so lame .. The fact is I still haven't got an idea what to do with Mag today. I have been so busy I haven't got a gift, or a card, or a rose, yet. Actually, I ought to feel like the big barren tree, hoping for God's miracle of free mangos. No rose but at least Mag will enjoy eating them. As the years gone by, things have become practical and we have both understood that. We are still hanging on that thread of romance but as that wears out, we are also learning that love is patient & kind and all that stuff in 1 Corithians 13:4-7 which God has shown us to be more wonderful. But nevertheless, it's great to be reminded of romance now and then. As for today, its one incident, I wished I had thought about things earlier... Anyway living in the present doesn't mean not planning ... However even if it is, since when has true living been without risk.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone !

Roots & Legacy

2006-02-07T12:25:00.000+08:00

Chinese new year has been traditionally a long break for me where I travelled back to Malaysia to spent time with my family in KL & then with my in-laws in JB. However this year instead of one long break, it was two smaller ones. The first part was in Johor Bahru with my in laws. As my brother in law just had his first baby (Samantha), that adds to kids that are already in abundance amongst the cousins from this side of the family. I overhead Mag saying to one of her friends trying for a family that the thing about having children is that we start giving to them and stop doing things that we want to do. Hmm I thought that really identifies us with Christ; To be living for others rather than for self.

After 3 days in JB, I came back to the office to work. I enjoyed the opportunity to work in the silence due to the longer break that my colleagues took for the new year. Yet at certain times I missed having them around. Nevertheless, God can be found in silence and I took the opportunity to have more of Him to come out of the short week refreshed and strengthen.

On Friday I had the second part of my break. I took leave to help host dad's side of the family who came from KL to spend 3 days with us in Singapore. All 15 of them, mostly elderly folks of my dad's generation. It was exciting but yet a nervous time as I need to organise a site seeing trip that Saturday for them. No problem normally but with the requirement that they don't want to go shopping nor to Sentosa Island or the Zoo which they have been, that really left me wondering where else is there to do in Singapore ? "Go to the farms" someone told me, which I thought was a brilliant idea if farms do exist in Singapore. To my delight, there do! So I booked a day tour with a travel agency to the Qian Hu Arowana Fish Farm, an Organic Veggie Farm and a Plant/Flora landscaping farm. Then I was shocked when I was told the package didn't include a tour guide so I convinced myself that we can do without one because we are 'own people'. Anyway on that day dad asked after we boarded the bus, 'So who's the tour guide?'. Everyone looked at me ! So that day, I became a tour guide. Thank God, Dad volunteered to lead a long singing session on the bus so with that I had a little less to do. Ok after all that I think I did okay considering I wasn't prepared and didn't have fish nor vegetable farm experience.

The tour ended with traditional Dim Sum at Chinatown with a short visit to the Chinatown Heritage Centre. At the Heritage Centre, my dad took over to share what he is passionate about which was what is on exhibit "The Chinese Immigrants And Early Settlers in Singapore". I stood aside and listened how our family travelled from northern china from Shanxi to Shangdong to sourthern china at Fujian and Guangdong until finally across the seas southward to Nanyang (or South East Asia). While its not the first time I've heard all this, this time with the help of the displays, the stories touched me. Deeply they did, particularly the acount of my great grandfather (whom I have an image of in my mind), had to travel on a boat from Guangdong to Malaysia to find a better life. Dad described the storms and sick-sickness, the overcrowding, the small & terrible living condition on the boat as well as subsequently on land. When he mentioned that many others died on the journey and have their bodies thrown to the sea, I almost teared. How we take things for granted today? The Chinatown Heritage Centre is a great place for anybody who share the same roots as us and wants to tear. I'm touched because I'm reminded if any of these happened I would not have existed.

my great grandfather died on the journey (or anytime else before dad was born)

any of my ancestors from my mum or my dad side died before their time

my mum or dad did not meet and married someone else or even any of my ancestors and spouse did not meet or married.

my fellow sperm friend swam faster than me

With so many conditions to warrant my survival, it is so amazing and so special that I exist today.

On Sunday, after the group went back to Malaysia, after church and after visiting some church member's house, we did a little miracle putting all our kids to bed by 9:30 pm. Mag and I seized the opportunity and caught a movie at 9:45pm. It was so late we had little choice so we watch "Memoirs of A Geisha". We liked it. Perhaps because its been almost a year since we last dated in a movie. But I think its more because we both knew so little of the profession of Geishas before and the movie gave us the details and we were enlightened.

I realise we know so little of our heritage. As an asian and as a chinese. We subscribe so much to the western culture that it affects us in the way we live and even as Christians how we worship God. Isn't it true that so much we learned about Christianity we learned it from the West (with the origin of the media and books we read). Christianity is not a western religion, it is a relationship with a universal God who embraces all and works in all regardless of nationality and culture. While God and theology remain the same, how we express & worship must be unique. How I see people worship in Africa is different from in Thailand, in Australia and different here. I'm a child of God with unique roots that go back to Perth, to Kuala Lumpur, to Guangdong, Fujian and to Northern China, to the land of Jacob, Isaac and Abraham and way back Eden and finally to my heavenly home, so should my liturgy of worship resemble exactly those who has roots from America or Europe ? It may be but it is unlikely.

This Chinese New Year, I learned during my time spend with my dad's family that we have a rich heritage and we should not ignore as it shapes us even as a Christian and during my time with my in laws, that we ought to consider living for children who is our next generation by leaving a legacy & helping them find the roots of their existence.

It was a rewarding time for me this year and I look forward to the new Chinese year!

A new digital camera

2006-01-25T16:19:00.000+08:00

We just got a new digital camera because its chinese new year, the old one was 4 years old and couldn't work without something to tape the cover to the camera body (you see the latch is broken and it just won't switch on if the cover is not completely closed).

It's a second hand discontinued Canon A70 off the yahoo auction. Brought it home and played with it. It has all those fancy shutter, aperture, focus speed stuff which is Greek to me. I experimented with it yesterday and here are some photos of what it can do.

It can do night shots like this

It can capture how messy our house looks like just after the kids have gone to bed and before we clear things up.

It does children shots like these too. In close up

and in weird places

I also want to take a shot of this camera but realise this model doesn't have a 'take myself' mechanism. I should have just stuck a mirror in front of the lens and click.

Anyway with this new camera, I'm close to ready for the chinese new year. Now I only have to change money for ang pows, clear up some work in the office, finish my preparation for this Friday's children service, buy chinese new year goodies, clean up the house, decorate the house (before my parents arrive), shop for some new clothes for the kids and meet up with a friend I promised to meet up before the new year ...... err anyway Happy Chinese New Year Everyone!